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    dots Submission Name: Wind Updots

    Author: Blue Monk
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1556/457/118
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1014
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 657

       Good morning.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWind Updots

    As soft the morning sun creeps in
    the windows where I lay
    stretched and naked on my bed
    once more I pause to pray
    wind me up again Dear Lord
    to live another day

    The spring's a little rusty now
    and tends to catch of late
    the cogs will sometimes rumble
    but some breakfast would be great
    and coffee, yes, I've got to have
    it seems to lubricate

    So as I bow here on my side
    and make this little plea
    your pleasure Lord do please decide
    to kindly turn my key
    and cause your man to dance again
    as You would have it be

    Submitted on 2011-12-23 08:17:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      As someone once said to me, you get extra points for the rhyming scheme.

    I think every morrning is like this for me. Eyes open up, reality sets in, and the day begins...

    I like the visual of being wound up like a toy. Sort of reminds me of the scenes in the movie "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" where Sally Ann Howes played the wind up doll.

    Nice work, and thank you for sharing!


    | Posted on 2012-03-11 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]
      Rhythmically this is very nice and I very much liked the end, which seemed to be very humble. I guess with all the rhythm and the rhyme it was a nice sobering moment and gave the poem some pause, and a look
    at that honesty.
    | Posted on 2012-01-28 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so lovely. I don't know how I missed it before. I guess maybe because it was Christmastime. I wish I had read it in the morning. I love that the speaker is so happy to be awake!

    This is a sweet song to morning. And a lovely prayer. It is hopeful and human all at once. And playful. And clever.

    It is one of my favorites of yours.

    | Posted on 2012-01-20 00:00:00 | by JanePlane | [ Reply to This ]
      my goodness..spreads onthe braina and reads aloud wonderfully! great variety of words, highly skilled in meter and sound, now onto the clarity of the message...again a dead center hit on the target.

    i liked the quick, liquid feewl, as though listening to wwater flow over a bumoy creekbed, like thoughts do in one's subconcious..each astanza was clean and unforced and the one word that caused me pause was the line at the end the "and cause...." i re read twice because my brain kept thinking because....but that is no faukt of yours! steev koster

    pardon the typing just from 4 day hospital gig...still type uniquely ..nut this eve am outdoing my low standards. !
    | Posted on 2011-12-23 00:00:00 | by koster | [ Reply to This ]
      "so as i bow though my side" ? tripped me up a little...should it be "through"?

    anyway...wind me up, lubricate me...get the gears moving, it's another day...let my body, mind and soul be well enough to make the most of it...

    each day presents new challenges, new hopes, new dreams, new accomplishments...

    i want to dance toward them...turn that key...i picture one of those toys...you wind it up...and it moves.

    nice piece here

    nice one to read just as i am here waking up myself.

    | Posted on 2011-12-23 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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