[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: You own and Playdots

    Author: KeeperOfLight
    ASL Info:    23, Vancouver BC
    Elite Ratio:    2.55 - 41/64/76
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 343
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 644

       What do you see?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou own and Playdots

    Lasting impressions and fallen connections
    inter pressed and frivolously mingled,
    dainty plaster, molded perception
    unattended brisk fullness

    Calling their own thoughts,
    a pulpous moment demanded

    but shrunken dykes a town away
    made you own and play this way,
    but the game wasn't amended

    Torture spread around evenly

    Crafting its perception,
    leading its own feeling,
    demanding their own attention

    Faltering away from the words,
    playing in the intimate fields,
    and watching red maples sinking.

    Submitted on 2011-12-23 23:21:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      oh that is good.. the descriptive nature .. and really mature expression... that pulled me magnetically to dive down more and more into the depth of its meaning.. thumbs up..! :)
    | Posted on 2011-12-24 00:00:00 | by Iram | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Linger written by saartha
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    True Death written by layDsayD
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Every..... written by jackz
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]