The medications Iím taking donít necessarily change the stories that write themselves as a parallel world inside of me. They change a layer, they move a filter, and itís beneficial really. I was a fuming idiot when I decided to format myself into a mode of exemplifications and at least I should have considered it foolish to think that in this world I could move very far with such idealistic passion. As a layer into the world of objects perhaps there is no limit to the nature of values but some things must be recognized for it all to not be fruitless.
I am a skeptic who lives in this house of ghosts, with nothing but anomaly to call reality yet I still hope. There is nothing but paradox left of speaking metaphorically, but Iíve been making sense to people around me and on most occasions I consider it to be a suitable compromise really.
I canít sleep like I always couldnít sleep but I know the stories arenít me; they live and breathe with less maggots digging under their surface. I accept benefit to be mine, and pursue north with a much more steady compass.I find sailors like myself; Immune to the sickness of drowning, swerve-y and wreck(ed)less self con(-)tradictions screaming self fulfilled prophecy between islands. We share maps, and maladaptation, along with other things we consider to be sacred; love-lust and golden confusion, senseless forms of language and deviated forms of convention that make differed forms of sense for the layers in them that which we all seem to somehow know the best.
Maybe a dark part of me still echoes, while nothing nests broken bird songs, but the spirals only spin for moments and the forest regains light before a moment that could be considered long manifests.
I am not a dreamer by choice but then again if given the choice I would choose to dream anyway.
High tide doesnít always mean Iím buried in sand, it doesnít mean Iím to be washed away, there are familiar currents I recognize without making myself feel the need to scale invisible mountains, the ones my former self covered with invisible monsters. The medication controls them.