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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Perfectdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: drkpoet
    ASL Info:    21/m/NJ
    Elite Ratio:    3.04 - 442/527/94
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 516
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 485



    Description:
       Nothing more nothing less writing to get it off my chest....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPerfectdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Swaying left
    and swaying right,
    her body is so perfect
    shes the highlight of my night.

    Her body sparkles
    with every perfect sway
    not even noticing
    shes putting on a perfect display.

    Perfect is her voice
    Perfect is her hair
    she lived life
    without the littlest care.

    Death struck
    a perfect girl fell fate
    to the unperfect worlds
    hate.

    DrkPoet




    Submitted on 2004-07-31 21:32:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love the rhyme but it seems to be missing a form of rhythm...in my opinion. It's a great poem, full of emotion and meaning, but the random meter got me puzzled...almost making it difficult to read. And I agree with Sandlewood...it's almost as though the subject vanished into thin air; that may have been the point of the poem, but it just seemed to lack an explanation
    | Posted on 2004-07-31 00:00:00 | by Checkered Cow | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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