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    dots Submission Name: Family Values?dots

    Author: EW61
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 131/71/51
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 695
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 605


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    dotsFamily Values?dots

    Can anybody hear me?
    Silence, the reply
    Blank Stares
    Who cares?
    Wonder why I try

    Does anybody wonder
    Beyond safe platitudes?
    Self absorbed
    They'll "fix" my attitude

    Does anybody notice
    How profound
    The loneliness?
    Self Blame
    Absorbs this strength
    They'll walk me to the great abyss

    It doesn't really matter
    When all is said
    I'm done
    Their silence is the answer
    Best pack these bags and run

    Submitted on 2011-12-29 02:38:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Honestly it almost made me tear up a bit. I was everyone's stregth, but I've become broken and can only shoulder the shame myself.

    I thought you were doing a five line kind thing until I saw that verse in which there are seven lines. Though in poetry consistancy is questionable at best. Structure leads to a more accurate understanding of your work. Although I must say I find it difficult to lay your work in a way that stil transmits the same idea or pattern of thought. The section "How profound The loneliness?Shame Self BlameAbsorbs this strength" it reads more intense in the matter you present it. So I guess I have no argument. Good work.
    | Posted on 2011-12-31 00:00:00 | by Silver20G | [ Reply to This ]

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