Dick Me by brunov68

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Submission Name: Dick Me dots

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Author:	brunov68
ASL Info:	22/M/Toronto
Elite Ratio:	4.34 - 311/320/30
Words:	84

Class/Type:	Poetry/Depressed
Total Views:	369
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	601

Description:

Dick Me

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Cannot do
this anymore,
want to leave
lock the door.
Tired of the strife
with this life,
I am my
distression's whore-
a cheap and worthless
horrid whore.
Shoot me please,
waste myself:
soul is cheap
an empty shelf.
Damned is the heart
that feels too much
wish to have one?
Not as such.
Do I not have one?
Not as such.
Help me please,
I wish to flee
this unnoticed life
encaged in me-
this torturous life
encaged in me.

Submitted on 2004-07-31 22:36:14 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  again-this is good* even though you write so quick they are good. sometimes quickness is better than pondering your first thoughts. i am sad for you in that you seem so sad in your writings. i hope to be able to bring some "brightness" to your life! ***
| Posted on 2004-11-26 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the repetitiveness. Really makes the lines stand out... And you told me I wrote poems quickly... 2 1/2 minutes? Yes.. you are talented. A sad but talented writer. I wish you would tell me why you are so unhappy... I haven't figured it out yet... but then again I haven't read all of your pieces yet either... Talk to me... I'm always around and I'm sure no matter what causes your sadness I can somehow relate...

Talk to you later
-Brooke
| Posted on 2004-08-06 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]
  this is not funny..this is so sad...i feel bad for you..i don't know why...this was well-written and i like it...i enjoyed reading it..thanks!
meh,
jen
| Posted on 2004-08-03 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
  deep [censored], real real deep [censored]. i love reading anything about depression since it in a bizarre morbid way makes me feel better. i spoke to me. hard 2 do. great [censored], keep it coming.
| Posted on 2004-08-01 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
  ok so here is my comment... even though you wrote this in only 2 1/2 minutes, it was a better piece than i thought... although you could do without the forced rhyme scheme (at times), and i think that instead of putting your feelings out on a plate, speled out for anyone to see... try and leave a little to the imagination... take the reader somewhere so that they can feel as you do without telling them to feel that way

- fifi
| Posted on 2004-08-01 00:00:00 | by halopop | [ Reply to This ]
  this was really good. but i dont get how the what the title has to do with this. but its still go though. keep it up. l8r.

--asher demon--
| Posted on 2004-08-01 00:00:00 | by pyroskull | [ Reply to This ]
  This wasawesome for a 21/2minue write... he flow was quick and precise. The ryming was good. I also likd the repettition in soome spots. This was filled with personal thoughts and emotions I've felt this way, often due to the subjct we'e been discussing. I feel so sad, frustrated, when I don't/can't always suceed. I want to ruun, escape from my agony...
| Posted on 2004-08-01 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]
  damn you just ended my happy streak. i aint thought about how life sucks in 3 minutes and now you gone and spoiled it. and i was just about to smile too. oh well.

i liked the poem though. its got a cool fast pace that comes with being writting so quick. i just got one little sugestion for improvment. drop one of the whores and replace it with something else. its just the same word repeated quickly doesnt sound good. but other than that its pretty perfect. oh and w/e happens dont do any of the things 'leper messiah' sugested. dont even think about that stuff. please.
| Posted on 2004-08-01 00:00:00 | by nameless_nobody | [ Reply to This ]
  jesus, man...please: go to the nearest
...Starbucks, get a nice warm pleasant Chai...
...Toronto? don't you guys got beautiful women...uh, dancers? yeah, there, the nearest one...or multiple, however much dough you got
...PacSun, buy new shorts/pants/hat/anything that costs nice dinero and will flatter your manly Canadian figure, (lil boost of self image for ya)
...pet store. bunnies and puppies make april feel snuggle-huggy. you should too.
...mall on friday night or late thursday afternoon. from my experiences, its when the hot chicks go. pay-day, for the most part...
guess thats all i got for now. what, its 20 past 12 am, give me a lil more time...i'll have you dicked in no time flat...Peace, man..no offense; i laughed my ass off at the title. i love it. latah~
april
| Posted on 2004-07-31 00:00:00 | by leper messiah | [ Reply to This ]
  i like the form of ur work, 2 1/2 months wow, now thats pretty good, i can't keep the same mood in writing for more than a week, my mood tends to change and then thoughts are lost, the emotions that are present gives great imagery and feelings that are being felt from the author... the puntuation seems to be set pretty good, as the pauses and stops all make sense when read. thanx for the great read.
| Posted on 2004-07-31 00:00:00 | by drkpoet | [ Reply to This ]
  Bruno, I've gots to love you babe cause your ish is on point I personally liked the line that said, : "I am my distressions whore." now if most guys could admit that they were whores, the life we live could be ooo so much better...lol, I'm only kidding love, but honestly I really liked the line that said "not as such" because it just sums up everything, because you thought everything was a waste, to me that sums it up...sorry I don't have much else to say, but what can I say when my tongue is stuck in my throat? I'm speechless
| Posted on 2004-08-22 00:00:00 | by Brwnsknsam05 | [ Reply to This ]
  well... apart from be really cut short on the lines and having some lines that don't really make sence. it isn't that bad. i can deffinatly tell is was written very quickly. but the emotion is really good.
~Shadow
| Posted on 2004-08-26 00:00:00 | by Moonshadow | [ Reply to This ]

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