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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: she held the moon oncedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: isabella
    Elite Ratio:    5.56 - 803/905/472
    Words: 17
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 670
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 137



    Description:
       changed this to bare bones. yup.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsshe held the moon oncedots
    -------------------------------------------




    and he captured her.
    (with his beautiful instincts
    and shutter-click love).







    Submitted on 2012-01-05 13:57:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I collect moon/love poems, and this one is a tiny little really fine piece!

    I often change a poem to its bare bones and find sometimes it makes a garbage poem into a fine one, but also sometimes I end up with two poems I like! And have to decide whether to show one and hide the other, or show both together! So I'm curious about your original version prior to this one! So is MmR (below). Maybe this is a reader reaction that one could do something with?
    | Posted on 2014-07-02 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      What's amazing about this is that with three lines you actually made me imagine something from my own life. My husband is a photographer and has quite a few pictures of the moon. However, the romantic side of me tends to think I am his moon, and he captured Me with his beautiful instincts and shutter-click love... Which he's been known to do as well ;)

    I wish I could have read this before you bare-boned it though. Even still, thanks for making me smile
    | Posted on 2012-09-03 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, what an incredible snapshot this is.

    i visualize it in its entirety.

    you capture life's moments, and put them within frames we want to hold onto forever.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-05-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      this evokes such a sense of loss... she was held something so pure and whole and wonderful that existing outside of that connection is useless... amazingly written.. i adore pieces like this...and as a photographer, it completes the moment for me... wonderful!
    | Posted on 2012-02-18 00:00:00 | by Oracle | [ Reply to This ]
      wow! this is very beautiful indeed!

    this is the kind of poetry that gets my juices flowing. you employ such lush and lovely images here.

    but she held the moon once
    round and full

    this is a gorgeous line. i also like the rhymes this piece possesses. it is quite mellifluous.

    as a whole this is a very elegant piece. as i was reading it i got the sense of sheer gossamer...light and silky.

    the only nit i have is the first two lines. i think that you can make this more verismo- and perhaps a line brake from these two line would be appropriate as well.

    overall, i love this piece. anyway, this is just my 2 pence worth. ;P

    ciao

    -JP
    | Posted on 2012-01-05 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]


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