[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: she held the moon oncedots

    Author: isabella
    Elite Ratio:    5.56 - 803/905/472
    Words: 17
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1368
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 137

       changed this to bare bones. yup.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsshe held the moon oncedots

    and he captured her.
    (with his beautiful instincts
    and shutter-click love).

    Submitted on 2012-01-05 13:57:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I collect moon/love poems, and this one is a tiny little really fine piece!

    I often change a poem to its bare bones and find sometimes it makes a garbage poem into a fine one, but also sometimes I end up with two poems I like! And have to decide whether to show one and hide the other, or show both together! So I'm curious about your original version prior to this one! So is MmR (below). Maybe this is a reader reaction that one could do something with?
    | Posted on 2014-07-02 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      What's amazing about this is that with three lines you actually made me imagine something from my own life. My husband is a photographer and has quite a few pictures of the moon. However, the romantic side of me tends to think I am his moon, and he captured Me with his beautiful instincts and shutter-click love... Which he's been known to do as well ;)

    I wish I could have read this before you bare-boned it though. Even still, thanks for making me smile
    | Posted on 2012-09-03 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, what an incredible snapshot this is.

    i visualize it in its entirety.

    you capture life's moments, and put them within frames we want to hold onto forever.

    | Posted on 2012-05-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      this evokes such a sense of loss... she was held something so pure and whole and wonderful that existing outside of that connection is useless... amazingly written.. i adore pieces like this...and as a photographer, it completes the moment for me... wonderful!
    | Posted on 2012-02-18 00:00:00 | by Oracle | [ Reply to This ]
      wow! this is very beautiful indeed!

    this is the kind of poetry that gets my juices flowing. you employ such lush and lovely images here.

    but she held the moon once
    round and full

    this is a gorgeous line. i also like the rhymes this piece possesses. it is quite mellifluous.

    as a whole this is a very elegant piece. as i was reading it i got the sense of sheer gossamer...light and silky.

    the only nit i have is the first two lines. i think that you can make this more verismo- and perhaps a line brake from these two line would be appropriate as well.

    overall, i love this piece. anyway, this is just my 2 pence worth. ;P


    | Posted on 2012-01-05 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]