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22/ Female/ Stuart, FL
4.21 - 26/21/22
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I want it to be gone
Your feelings for her so strong
Only your voice
Can make the final choice
I want to hear you every night
Keeping you close with all my might
My love for you has become too strong
That I cannot bare to be away for long
Last night I cried a sea of tears
Hoping they’d wash away my fears
I want to hate her I really do
But I know I can’t and neither can you
I can’t tell you what to do
And especially not who to choose to be
But most of all I want you to choose me
Submitted on 2012-01-07 15:19:38
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2: I dunno...
4: Pretty cool
||| Comments |||
I think it needs to break more outside of the box. The rhyming seems forced in places and some lines such,"sea of tears..." are a bit cliché. D
| Posted on 2012-01-09 00:00:00 | by
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I'm right there with ya hun. I feel this close to home. This is a very good piece, and I am glad you wrote it. I am going to watch you closely, because I believe that many more good piece are left inside you.
| Posted on 2012-01-08 00:00:00 | by
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Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [
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5. Which parts?
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11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?
Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.
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