Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Broken and Proud

Author: Mithrandir
ASL Info:    28/m/N.Y.
Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 452 /681 /113
Words: 112
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1264
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 849


I dont know

Broken and Proud

I will slip through your fingers
don't bother dreaming
I'm your's to save

Broken, proud
and still standing
I'll be come the morning

Just go to sleep

Been haunting
these empty halls
far too long
Nothing left
only a ghost
of what once was

Just let me go

Everyone falls
all are broken
in part

Yet too many
choose to stay down
not this time

Close your eyes
only for a moment
then I'll be gone

strengths returning
to these legs
arms, and this heart.

Broken and Proud
I'll be come the morning
Broken and Proud
and you can't keep me down

Submitted on 2012-01-09 12:25:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Wow John!!! Holy Hanna it seems like forever since I've read your work. This has a beautifully broken feel to it. As though although broken hearted not dead, still breathing and trying to thrive. With each new day life gives way to options and choices which can make us stronger if we can see it for just that...a fresh start, clean slate, a way to rise above.
I know I'm rambling now but I Love this. A true slice of life!!!

strengths returning
to these legs
arms, and this heart

That, for me, clenched the heart strings...brilliant

Been haunting
these empty halls
far too long
Nothing left
only a ghost
of what once was

That is how I've felt coming back here to Elite, sorry nothing to do with the piece but totally summarizes how I feel here now...haunted into submission, taunted by the ghost of my voice.

Back to your write...well done Sir!!! Awesome possum :)
Was so Happy to see your name and even better to read your work!!!

| Posted on 2012-01-09 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?