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    dots Submission Name: Breakingdots

    Author: rev.jpfadeproof
    ASL Info:    27/m/nyc
    Elite Ratio:    6.09 - 366/363/154
    Words: 21
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 648
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 130

       thankx for the thoughts and edits, Bill.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    like ten thousand charging appaloosas
    in the breaking storm across the prairie
    of Brooklyn skies - I have loved you

    Submitted on 2012-01-11 13:59:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      You seem to have a gift for short verse, JP. I say, enjoy every experiment in whatever form or length it takes. These shorter posts are introspective, quiet, and powerful all at once.

    Nicely done.
    | Posted on 2012-01-12 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the brooklyn sky...

    this piece makes me imagine close to what Matt did...

    i just see a love so strong it feels to the speaker like being stampeded...being helpless to escape or resist..

    reading across the sky... this wonderful imagery compacted into such short space.

    | Posted on 2012-01-12 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, I'm gonna try something here.
    What I saw was the appaloosas being the storm. The sound of their charge is the thunder; the quickness of their feet, the lightning; and the blurring of their colors, the grayish texture of the sky.

    An image of something so beautiful, gradually becoming a force of destruction...

    and then the past tense:

    I have loved you.

    Just so you know, I read this about ten times and stood dumbly at the screen trying to come up with a worthy analysis.

    A very...abstract image. I find a lot of beauty in this piece.

    | Posted on 2012-01-11 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]

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