Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nothing To Dodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 392
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 457



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNothing To Dodots
    -------------------------------------------


    it is on this mountain
    where sky is closer than sea or earth
    that I have come to know myself
    know the desert that opens before me
    know the empty song that whispers in the trees
    it is a song for no one
    it is a song that sings only for itself

    that is what I long to be
    that is why I reach so deep
    to carry a tune

    the shape of which
    has nothing to do with loving you




    Submitted on 2012-01-14 17:35:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Was it Sigmund Freud?....the goal of everything we do as humans is to get laid.

    And it goes along that respect.
    Everything we do we do for others, so that they may accept us or reward us with their affection and attention.

    And yet that song separates us from the desert...where we can wander around aimlessly in search for nothing but water. That would be the id, according to Freud.

    To be the song, not the singer. Interesting....I like it.

    Matt
    | Posted on 2012-01-16 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is actually a very refreshing thing to read. finding a place in ones self to reach for depth without another is important, regardless of how we plan it there is that inevitability of things not working out. co-dependance isn't i've got a few minor suggestions


    it is on this mountain
    where sky is closer
    than sea or earth
    that I have come to know myself
    (i feel like by saying know.... that it's a command, to another person which doesn't really seem to be what you're trying to convey here)
    to know the desert that opens before me
    to know the lyric that whispers in the trees
    as a song for no one
    it is a song that sings
    only for itself

    that is what I long to be
    that is why I reach so deep
    to carry a tune
    (i think a space here really adds to the independence vibe here.)
    the shape of which
    has nothing to do with loving you

    i think tone in reading would dictate whether or not this is in resentment. it doesn't feel like that to me, but a tone can change meaning alot. to me it feels like a very healthy way of keeping a part of yourself for you and we all need that. establishing that part in yourself is a strong relationship. i've been through some serious stuff and i know having such a place of mind has kept me from committing suicide with how bad my depression had been getting before i got myself medicated. it's something i didn't want to do but i got to the point where i had to. having autism makes communicating in the real world hard enough without depression making things that much more heavy. but i know that writing, and keeping parts of myself for the sake of their own function has been a saving grace. i do tend to bear alot of my depth when writing for women, but i keep parts for myself. parts that are for no one. the lyrics that pass and i don't bother to grab a pen or put myself in front of a keyboard. i love how you said shape. alot of times when i write or when i'm turned on emotionally i'll literally see shapes for different melodies and rhythms, (synstheisa). i know that alot of times when moved emotionally i'll think in the poetry i write, it's sort of like the shapes and colors take over and it's someting i've learned to not be afraid of but i don't communicate it in the real world. i save it for paper. or i let it fade away. regardless the piece did manage to conjure up some pretty deep feelings and that's usually the point of these things in my opinion. good job.

    Ryan
    | Posted on 2012-01-14 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      Away to stay. I like the place. I like the song that sings for itself. Reaching deep si. A little surprised about the resentment thing but it works. Pretty solid piece.
    | Posted on 2012-01-14 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      and damn that song is hard to find...one who has nothing to do with loving you...

    we have to sing our own song...and like the melody..because others will try to tinker with our lyrics...and try to change our beat...and that is not a good thing.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-01-14 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    193919

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Live In Between written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry