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    dots Submission Name: Once Upon a Time . . . dots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 212
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 320
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1475


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOnce Upon a Time . . . dots

    there was a story.
    I knew it,
    gobbled it up.
    feasted on its happy ending,
    licked its lifeblood from my pale, bony fingers.

    my yesterdays,
    easier to swallow
    with time and decay.
    they slipped past my muted pallet
    down my greased gullet
    to a bellyful of make-believe.

    my tomorrows?
    they are sharper.
    right on the razor's edge of
    like the murder that gets buried in sweets
    or the apple with a curse.

    this pin prick moment
    of starless night and clouds
    suffocating the sun.
    a tiny dot of red
    that means I'm still pulsing
    then still breathing.

    still swallowing whole
    this coldness
    that pervades.

    this is a dreamless sleep that

    we all want to keep dreaming.
    we all hate to sleep.
    we all love to sleep.
    we all need

    or joy.
    but few of us keep it.

    most waste it like a bowl of cold porridge
    and look for fairy tales
    and grab at fairy's tails
    and smile as the ogre eats our heads

    not me.
    I'm done feeding on fantasy.
    I don't need the empty calories.
    I prefer the more piquant
    taste of love.

    Submitted on 2012-01-18 18:03:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Yes that was pretty well written.
    You alluded to the fairy tales just enough to keep the metaphor, but not too much as to wear it thin.

    And then the message behind it just gut punched me.

    My yesterdays are easier to swallow with time and decay. my tomorrows? they are sharper....

    I love it.

    I'm not going to go as far as saying it's my favorite of yours, but it is one of your best.

    | Posted on 2012-01-21 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      Ditto on "this may be my favorite read of yours yet." This is soooo descriptive even early on... rich delicious morsels (licking fingers indeed). I don't and even can't quite write like this but I guess we all have somewhat of a unique style cast from our unique personhood. There are a handful of POETS to be had that manage to scrape up some soul and still manage to throw in some fairies and an ogre or two. Thanks for your special offerings on this particular altar.
    | Posted on 2012-01-19 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i think sometimes love is right in front of us...the durable, lasting kind...the person who will give back, sincerely love us---but there is something sometimes in that that feels a lack of challenge or whatever...and we lose interest...we want the unattainable fairy tale love that is actually just that...fairy tale...because every time we latch on to what we think is this amazing magic carpet ride...the carpet throws us off in mid-flight...and then our thoughts go back to that piquant love as you put it...and we are filled with regrets for letting it go.

    life is a series of chasing dreams and then waking up to reality...

    but there are some dreams worth dreaming again and again and again---we always want what we don't have...human nature..

    and sometimes what we do have is more perfect than we imagine.

    and more real.

    this may be my favorite read of yours yet.

    | Posted on 2012-01-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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