Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: unleasheddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: robbie
    ASL Info:    20/m/mi
    Elite Ratio:    2.79 - 53/54/36
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 746
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1019



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsunleasheddots
    -------------------------------------------


    locked away i kept myself fully content
    untill i met you then i fell in desent
    i came crashing down to the ground
    but when i hit i didnt make a sound
    i looked in to your eyes again i fell
    only this time it was in to your hell
    the one you put me thru so far
    im already pushed to the bar
    tiered already of lies mistrust and deceit
    you want me down before your feet
    i wish youd just tell me the real deal
    and what it is you truely feel
    dont play no games with my head
    i dont stand for that shit,i mean what i said
    look in to my eyes theres a besat i try to hide
    its not hard to see its right there inside
    your not the maker of what i hold
    but your building the fire to what was set cold
    if you push to far it will arise
    an then wont you be in a big suprise
    when the real me comes out
    no time to run and shout
    but look at what you unleashed
    look good




    Submitted on 2012-01-23 20:07:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Choppy, but good. There are several spelling and grammatical errors, but the feeling is real so I'll let them pass.

    Sage
    | Posted on 2012-01-28 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    193998

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    One OF Millions written by TeslaKoyal
    I Just Want to Have Fun written by SavedDragon
    Ahogo written by MyPeriodical
    potpourri written by MyPeriodical
    Agitations written by MyPeriodical
    Oblivion written by TheStillSilence
    peaceful delusion written by cornonthekob
    The Depths written by obsidiandreams
    Somewhere It's Always Morning written by Soul-Hugger
    Of A Better Future written by MyPeriodical
    Generation Lost in Space written by teika5
    The Veil written by Swimming Bird
    Understanding the pain of growth written by MyPeriodical
    undetermined written by MyPeriodical
    slight change written by cornonthekob
    Buddy written by TeslaKoyal
    bleeding part one written by MyPeriodical
    Humanity's Loss, Humanity's Gain | prt t written by MyPeriodical
    Mild Hallucinations written by cornonthekob
    self-compromise written by cornonthekob
    Abyss (credit to Carina) written by Debauchery
    progress(false) written by cornonthekob
    El Llanto Los Libra written by MyPeriodical
    Layin Tracks in Here written by teika5
    Escape written by Pyrosis
    In case you didn't know written by BestxDeceptions
    Reality unseen written by Lil gal
    Los Desechados written by MyPeriodical
    abnormal behavior written by cornonthekob
    untitled written by Outlaw

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry