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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Floatin'dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nicodemous
    ASL Info:    7-5-82/M/Hell
    Elite Ratio:    5.58 - 283/221/121
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 568
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 509



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFloatin'dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Do not worry
    I still love you
    but only because I am shallow too
    so don't feel so bad
    I may be in pieces
    but I am not broken
    I'm just hopin'
    to find love more than spoken
    That makes me feel like I'm token...

    Floatin'

    Down now
    Back to reality
    Back to the fallacy
    As I appeal to the unknown and plead
    With GOD
    Odd
    perhaps it is me that is the problem




    Submitted on 2012-01-27 19:40:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This one I really like, the flow and the insights were good. I love the 3rd line too. Really nice message here..
    Thanks for sharing..

    Jen
    | Posted on 2012-09-14 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      This sounds like a sassy punk rock piece.

    Like hit me baby one more time.

    Kind of in line with the whimsicalness that Jacob has pointed out.

    I thought it was unique and clever at points

    Thanks for sharing
    | Posted on 2012-01-30 00:00:00 | by BevRead | [ Reply to This ]
      This sounds like a match made in heaven. I like the closing, such insight comes not often enough. "perhaps it is me that is the problem" If each of us could ask that question it would solve a lot of the world's problems.
    | Posted on 2012-01-28 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the mixture of wistfulness and whimsicalness i see in this..and the "odd" rhyme pattern that just really works well with this delivery and theme.

    "because i am shallow too"

    nice line

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-01-27 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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