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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Weepdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 32
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 389
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 241



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWeepdots
    -------------------------------------------


    noise
    like sharp steel against bleating deer
    or cats at slaughter

    snot and tears run

    you can't.

    it's
    every--

    where
    you
    look




    Submitted on 2012-01-29 21:41:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Ok, blue Monday was last week. Snot and tears? Sounds like a new musical duo. Perhaps they sing the blues? (Blood, snot and tears?) No, in checking Google, "Blood Snot Tears" is heavy metal,

    I suppose it's ok to drag things out a little, poor deer (dear). But daylight period is getting longer. Let's generate a little mirth going in to Mardi Gras.

    Actually some of my redneck buddies would like the sound of sharp steel going at a bleating deer. Winter is time to fill the freezer! Alas, no Bambi for dinner at my house, the girls are Disney fans.
    | Posted on 2012-01-30 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the space between every and where. it seems pertinent in this write.

    there is always space between words when weeping or sobbing or snotty nose inhales and running tears.

    it's all so messy sometimes but necessary. i find at least.

    i am a crybaby wimpo on any given occasion. but usually it's over an odd realization of self or other things.

    i think it is always surprising... how deep deep down sobbing/weeping can be.

    i think too, with the first lines here... it feels so deeply painful.

    anyhoo...

    just some thoughts.

    | Posted on 2012-01-30 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]
      I do like the very brutal truth
    | Posted on 2012-01-30 00:00:00 | by BevRead | [ Reply to This ]
      you can run, but you can't hide from that which causes tears or screams of agony..

    when the heart aches...it just does.

    suffering IS everywhere you look.

    this piece is something like Hemmingway...

    here are a few short lines...dive in and see how well you can swim through the piece...

    it is intriguing...especially the second stanza...



    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-01-30 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds like you've been observing the steep deep jeep reap heap, the creep leap seep. I advise you steep some tea in your castle's keep and try to make THEM weep instead. Gripe hype, ripe stripe type swipe, don't let them hit you with that pipe.

    All kidding aside I like the simplicity of this but it's nothing a little snotty couldn't cure. Or so I like to civilized think.
    | Posted on 2012-01-30 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      this is all around good.
    | Posted on 2012-01-29 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]


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