[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Weepdots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.77 - 417/433/131
    Words: 32
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 397
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 241


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    like sharp steel against bleating deer
    or cats at slaughter

    snot and tears run

    you can't.



    Submitted on 2012-01-29 21:41:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Ok, blue Monday was last week. Snot and tears? Sounds like a new musical duo. Perhaps they sing the blues? (Blood, snot and tears?) No, in checking Google, "Blood Snot Tears" is heavy metal,

    I suppose it's ok to drag things out a little, poor deer (dear). But daylight period is getting longer. Let's generate a little mirth going in to Mardi Gras.

    Actually some of my redneck buddies would like the sound of sharp steel going at a bleating deer. Winter is time to fill the freezer! Alas, no Bambi for dinner at my house, the girls are Disney fans.
    | Posted on 2012-01-30 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the space between every and where. it seems pertinent in this write.

    there is always space between words when weeping or sobbing or snotty nose inhales and running tears.

    it's all so messy sometimes but necessary. i find at least.

    i am a crybaby wimpo on any given occasion. but usually it's over an odd realization of self or other things.

    i think it is always surprising... how deep deep down sobbing/weeping can be.

    i think too, with the first lines here... it feels so deeply painful.


    just some thoughts.

    | Posted on 2012-01-30 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]
      I do like the very brutal truth
    | Posted on 2012-01-30 00:00:00 | by BevRead | [ Reply to This ]
      you can run, but you can't hide from that which causes tears or screams of agony..

    when the heart aches...it just does.

    suffering IS everywhere you look.

    this piece is something like Hemmingway...

    here are a few short lines...dive in and see how well you can swim through the piece...

    it is intriguing...especially the second stanza...

    | Posted on 2012-01-30 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds like you've been observing the steep deep jeep reap heap, the creep leap seep. I advise you steep some tea in your castle's keep and try to make THEM weep instead. Gripe hype, ripe stripe type swipe, don't let them hit you with that pipe.

    All kidding aside I like the simplicity of this but it's nothing a little snotty couldn't cure. Or so I like to civilized think.
    | Posted on 2012-01-30 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      this is all around good.
    | Posted on 2012-01-29 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Push written by JanePlane
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wavelength written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Linger written by saartha
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    True Death written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Every..... written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Your Lover written by Cordell




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]