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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nature's Wonders dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nikita2u
    ASL Info:    26 Female Wonderlandlust
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 404/396/239
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 804
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 663



    Description:
       Another Oldie, I see that I need to edit feel free to critique to your hearts content :)

    Hm. This one is stumping me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNature's Wonders dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The eastern wind flies across
    a flowing carpet of diamonds
    a velvety contrast to the burning
    passion of daylight.

    Flying over the expanse of seas,
    each wave encompassing
    the lost souls that perished
    in their watery depths.

    Soaring stars dance across the
    heavens leaving a trail of dust
    to lay in the wake of
    clear mountain air.

    Tall trees entangled, choking vines
    surrender themselves so another can live.
    As softly treading panthers trust the fates
    to guide them to the life giving creatures
    beneath their cushioned menace.




    Submitted on 2012-01-30 18:46:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      the word-setting holds me (and doesn't let go)
    the imagery.... just stunning .....

    *this part*
    to guide them to the life giving creatures
    beneath their cushioned menace.

    this part (for me) made me sad

    good write

    bloodstone
    | Posted on 2012-02-17 00:00:00 | by Bloodstone | [ Reply to This ]
      Reading this again, what I didn't notice the first time is the two references to death and what it's about - thalassic repose, and the predator's target.

    The sea of the souls is a mythical sea, evoked by the scene from reality. The rainforest, though, hits like a hammer. It is life, the field of losses and dying, and of the killing-to-live.

    I wondered what sort of disturbance you had when you wrote it (nosey guy), and concluded that it was probably a pjilosophical crisis.
    | Posted on 2012-02-02 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      nothing really to critique...and what was said in previous comments...my reaction exactly...i really like the bit about the panthers...

    wonderful...

    i felt like i was looking at a picture, but more than that, i was IN the picture...

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-01-31 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Pjilosophical eh? (below)

    Creative typing: new words looking for their meanings ...
    | Posted on 2012-01-31 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      I just love natural scenery poems, and even when they are figures for something more personal or pjilosophical, I still love the imagery the most! Anyway, your imagery is vivid and I so enjoyed the poem.
    | Posted on 2012-01-31 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      Quite a vivid picture you create here, totally sucked me in, allowing me to become a part of it and experience it, I like it when a piece can do that, my favorite part has to be:

    "Tall trees entangled, choking vines
    surrender themselves so another can live.
    As softly treading panthers trust the fates
    to guide them to the life giving creatures
    beneath their cushioned menace."
    (Maybe remove the period before "as", maybe...)

    Something about it just makes me feel so natural and in place, everything in order, ready to fulfill prescribed functions and enforce balance and create a serene perfection in itself.

    I enjoyed it thoroughly.

    Shawn
    | Posted on 2012-01-31 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]


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