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    dots Submission Name: The soul we search of formdots

    Author: monad
    ASL Info:    64/M/California
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1092/410/117
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1230
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 786


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe soul we search of formdots

    Misty mountain heights
    too precipitous and craggy to tread.
    We imagine infinite possibilities
    and traverse the talus instead.
    Wandering through frost bitten landscapes
    the macabre gruesome of yore.
    Sentience breeds visions of panacea
    entreating us to ask for more.
    But enigma is a treacherous tirade
    and the berserker is at the door.
    Revulsions list toward recompence
    reality seems a whore
    The wanton wayward gist of pith
    is diabolical dementia.
    How to accomplish bailiff's rake
    while preserving in absentia.
    There is no more impunity
    for those who live with sooth.
    And yet our souls would long for grace
    and try to call it truth.

    Submitted on 2012-02-01 20:46:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      First of all, let me say that I enjoyed the trek through ubiquitous high-brow vocabulary that takes time and intelligence to compose and deduce.
    (Lines 1-5)
    I must say that I got a bit of a chuckle with the use of "frost (Frost) bitten" after traversing the talus vs mountains which brought to mind a "road less traveled." And while the talus may seem to be the easier route, it's ever-shifting rubble seems to change that image a bit. Neither choice is exactly a stroll through the park of hills of wildflowers. But isn't that life!

    (Lines 5-10)
    Lines 5 & 6 Vividly bring to mind picture of dangerous landscapes form my childhood books and movies (Sleeping Beauty-style graphics) But life is full of fears and trials and we are always looking for a cure for fear and pain, and probably ask for the easy way out too often. We senselessly ask for a search for one pain when and them another comes directly behind it and we're asking again.
    (Lines 11-16)
    We seem to ramp up the anti with plea bargaining for what we want. Then we conveniently forget all of our promises. And when it's time to pay the piper, we'd rather put the check in the mail, than deal with him face to face. {sighs} Humans are so weak-natured when it comes to real consequence.

    (Lines 17-20)
    Impunity for those who are ignorant? Once we are aware, there is struggle. We are aware. And yet we deny the sin matters because we have grace and so now its okay? But we are aware and so we end up in a Catch-22.

    Many people think like this and so yes the title works because we are constantly on that journey. It is never ending, and we look grace to save and shore up our souls, but are we loosing them at the same time?

    Obviously you got me thinking and this is only my interpretation, but they were a concise, creative 20 lines with unique language and yet clear references, if one knows where to look. Thanks for suggesting it.
    | Posted on 2015-01-23 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      This takes me back to when I first played Morrowind. I am left
    with that same mind numbed desperation that one thought I must get warm followed by and I just have to get rid of this disease that I contracted from those dang pigs.
    | Posted on 2012-08-05 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      I kind of liked it. I mean, I was expecting 505 words each directing me to a dictionary, but- I give credit because there are some nice passages of rhythm and rhyme, and even when it becomes a bit contorted, the way you even it out at the end, and in the end, ending.
    simply. It was nicely done.
    | Posted on 2012-02-10 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm digging this one in my own way...

    do we want the soul of what we are now..or what we were then...

    is that mountain too high...do we just keep circling it instead of climbing it...

    so constantly circle the past instead of climbing toward the future?
    "the berserker is at the door"

    almost like moving forward might make us go chaotic...and we need to be stagnant to survive.

    anyway..just thoughts..

    but i could get my mind around this one...well, for what my mind can do anyway.

    | Posted on 2012-02-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      Walking talus is often rough going, very unsteady. Better watch where you're going instead of dreaming of the heights. the berserker is at the door. (always)

    recompence - I've already selected that word to be in the first line something I'm currently writing, GMTA?

    diabolical dementia - now you're getting personal ;)

    I think the essence of this is found in the final four lines which is good and proper. You are hereby granted the Philosopher poet pith award (the big PPP)

    "You want truth? You can't handle the truth".

    Worth reading, thinking about and commenting upon and dwelling upon whether any such comment is truly worthy. But you get the picture.

    Hits: You Perplexing Sphinx, Wanton and Wayward, also reviewed, Stravinsky's The Rake's Progress the inevitable downward spiral that follows from a life of dissipation

    Actually my next work is quite about the "Perplexing Sphinx" but that's another story...
    | Posted on 2012-02-02 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this, Bruce.
    For some reason,

    'Revulsions list toward recompence
    reality seems a whore'

    really resonated. I cannot explain why, other than it sticks out among the other phrases to my eyes.

    At the end, are the last two rhymes basically the same words? Sooth=truth?

    Also, I dont get the title. I get the soul-searching, but why 'of form'? Is it a specific form of soul or the formation of said soul?

    Or is it the form of the poem...?
    You know, this topic would make for a lovely rant from you,
    rather than a rhyme.
    But, that's just my two cents.
    Thanks for posting.

    | Posted on 2012-02-01 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]

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