The Arrangement -------------------------------------------
These words here
are set aside
to make more meaning of them.
All of them are meant to take you
to the garden of my youth
(now and long after I'm dead
where rhubarb ruts toward lilac's lavender fragrance,
and pink peonies sit in shade of
the tall, skinny sway of one red cedar.
Every so often it leans out past pear and crabapple
and rolling lawn to
the tart red currants I pluck
More meaning! I reckon most poets have enough command of their art to pump up meaning in their own ways; but sometimes I wonder if many poets take on the difficult topics ... whatever those seem to be, for each person!
I don't think this topic means a lot, although your poem is an ornament to it and a delight to read!
Looking below, 'nuff said. (and all good).
This begins to look like a contest on who can write the very best comment, which of course is all true. There are already words written, however, that I cannot match so let me stand as a "ditto".
this is kind of fun. i don't know. i think it's not all satirical/ at least not the jump out your face kind. sardonic fits, except for the last stanza. it does taunt the tounge doesn't it? i feel like your playing around with execution and expressing the dual edged sword of these kinds of things. most of us satiring poetry are frustrated about times in our lives and states of mind where we are thinking poetically and the whole positive feeling turns into those kinds of feelings. currants seems like a play on words. like a dried berry, or a current. red as in agression/anger/etc. how it all tastes odd. confusing emotions and whatnot. but thats my take or at least would be my meaning when writing it. everything we write has some source.
I am pretty sure I don't have a sardonic bone in my body -- or if I do it's the smallest one that I believe is the ear bone. That said, I do enjoy this. It becomes more clever & perhaps more biting as it goes along because at first I wasn't entirely sure where it was going, not until that third line when I realized the intent.
This type of writing is an excellent way to provide commentary in a more playful & perhaps even more hurtful fashion than just straight criticism. I can just imagine those who do utilize white space within their poetry bristling, but I think then they should stop & understand that some of them (& they should know who they are) arrange words and juxtapose white space quite well & should be at ease.
I think of Ferlinghetti, & some of his poetry is just masterfully written & the shape and stanzas so carefully arranged. Of course then I can't tell you how many modern books of poetry I've opened up only to find everything scattered & lacking any sense. Done well, however, I think that it is simply one evolution off the chain of stanza breaks and lengths.
Anyway, this was clever & the imagery with all its drama is well-suited for the type of writing this is as well. I was also even pained to see that there are some fantastic lines that would have been breathtaking in a poem that wasn't sardonic such as "skinny sway of one red cedar".