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    dots Submission Name: Objectivedots

    Author: Clayman
    ASL Info:    28 - getting late
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 609/327/167
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 649
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 607


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I remember backwards
    when I wasn't bricks,
    a drinker of rose tea
    and associated things.

    I feed my mind cherubs
    to play with their wings,
    allow them their dance,
    such gay little things.

    I breathe dust these days,
    remembering the taste of old ways.
    This is fine for I am dust also,
    gifted with the boon of an old soul.

    I sleep you into every night,
    pray you apart so I can feel.
    You never stay down without a fight,
    causing me to wonder if I'm real..


    Submitted on 2012-02-06 12:13:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very nice and with your usual depth.
    And I was just reading something about someone who claimed to be an "old soul", but I can't remember right now who that was... I don't know about how old the soul part is but the body is definitely getting old.

    Jump to religious mode: All souls are as old as creation, just some seem to remember some things a little better. Unlike George Carlin says, I don't think that "someone is printing up souls" at least anymore.

    | Posted on 2012-02-07 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      the past never stays down without a fight...and often the future just feels so bad it makes us dream the past back into our lives so we can feel alive like we once did...i dream the 60's back into mine...it was when i was most alive.
    and i often wonder if in 2012 i am really real....

    | Posted on 2012-02-07 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      It makes me think about the meanings of the word "objective" !

    An old soul contains a lot that has to be found ... like an old world ...

    Of the first three stanzas, I just love the images and the way they are worded. Of the last stanza, I'm apparently too dense to make sense of it.

    I often need help understanding a poem for the first time. I think a lot of people are the same in that. Well, as a criticism or suggestion: maybe you could outline the story itself - maybe in three or four words or a line - so that every reader can get it at the first reading, like a song which has to be understood at first hearing.

    On the other hand, some people call me a lyrical poet as an insult. Well, I don't argue with pure conceptual verse and the like, because I can't read it; but your verse is kind of in between; so that exactly how lyrical to make it must be an issue sometimes??
    | Posted on 2012-02-06 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      The "old soul" finds a common place with me.

    Good mystery write.

    keep well joppie
    | Posted on 2012-02-06 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]

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