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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: intodesi
    ASL Info:    28/m/On The Road
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 16/23/28
    Words: 171
    Class/Type: Story/Lostfriend
    Total Views: 876
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 887

       Name it

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    On a dark, dreary cold summer night,
    I watched the wicked willow wisp as the wright stooped past.
    I played a harmonic melody, simply soft, I began at a risk yet beheld under breath a single thought, one which always gave that which always took, a simple man yet simply he took, we watch the blue bells swing on spring's eve's but you left me sad as we sat there and weep'd, I finished my part and you watch in awe, but afraid of what was my plight you ran, I am fearless dear cap'n, no your not mine friend, I took my soul down a wary path, we laugh'd a 'lil but then he cried, he was sad I would soon leave his side. So we played another game, as we took swigs from the same 'ole gin, we laughed a little, but then his gun he drew, to his neck he blew, my dear friend, the one toss'd, come see me please, for we are all never lost.

    Submitted on 2012-02-09 06:34:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      A dark feeling story with a tense sense of longing wrapped within the words that gives it a beautiful feel. Some of the punctuation seems to interrupt the flow a bit and gives it a few halts, but the majority flows nicely. The rhyme is nicely does and doesn't feel forced.
    | Posted on 2012-02-09 00:00:00 | by Maskannai | [ Reply to This ]

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