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    dots Submission Name: Red-eye Gravydots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.77 - 417/433/131
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 376
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 563

       greasy misspelled on purpose

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRed-eye Gravydots

    you order

    greazy spoonfuls
    and biscuits

    I'm still drunk
    when this rip-nyloned blonde
    chewing gum for breakfast
    come to refill coffee
    thinks she'll crack wise
    asking me if I want decaf

    I watch you through the window
    as your fingers tremble when
    you light the cigarette
    your Pocahontas hair wind-locked
    to your cheeks
    your plump breasts criss-crossed inside
    a black wrap bar-dancing dress

    god how I love you

    Submitted on 2012-02-11 04:45:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i do love this little scene here. sounds like adoration and i get the sense that there's more than just the physical elements. i've always had a wee bit of a struggle expressing this, but sometimes i think looks or how we percieve them(except for the most shallow of perverts) are a mere reflection of our feelings. i've been with women that weren't text-book attractive but i found their bodies beautiful when engaged in the relathionship. it seems these were built upon false pretenses(the relathionships) but i'm going off on a tangent. either way i like how this ends. god how i love you. it's the only thing that justifies this entire human experience. for some reason this makes me think of denny's. i'm a little bit all over the place.
    | Posted on 2012-02-15 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this...he watches her...order her biscuits and gravy after her night shift...he imagines her on stage...he loves her from afar...

    the waitress sees him...pokes fun---decaf..to bring him down from his little high..

    she leaves the diner, he watches...

    nice scenario--

    if he actually met her...would he still love her...or is it just the idea of her.

    so cool....might be "comes to refill coffee"

    but she has attitude...they often do in those places...

    this reminds me of a short piece i read once called "lou's place"

    i may be far away in interp. but this is how it spoke to me...one of my favorites from you.

    | Posted on 2012-02-11 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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