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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shiverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 387
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 399



    Description:
       This is kind of a rewrite of the other "Shiver" piece I did. I also played around with it as a journal entry.


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    dotsShiverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the moonlight and the light from my porch
    conspire to create wide rays that spread across the lawn.
    dead leaves and dead grass sparkle
    tiny diamond drops
    of star and cold.
    a shiver
    climbs branches to reach
    frosty tips.
    no tears spill here.
    I finally see the pinpricks in the sky
    as a million suns bigger than I can think.




    Submitted on 2012-02-13 18:30:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The shiver...the involuntary muscle spasm that gives us warmth. Tries to bring us back to a state of equilibrium...

    that's what I see here.
    Maybe the involuntary spasm can act as faith...no, a battle of the internal fighting the external??
    I don't know...but it pointed your head towards the sky,
    and you have some pretty big thoughts
    to offer some perspective

    I love this

    Matt
    | Posted on 2012-02-14 00:00:00 | by OneDarkFlame92 | [ Reply to This ]
      That's a very nice view. I really like the closing.
    | Posted on 2012-02-14 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i think we shiver at all the bad things in life---it gives us a chill and can really make us depressed...but this poem shows hope...no tears spilled, so we accept what is bad...but at the same time see the pinpricks which are hints that the sun is breaking through...even if in little increments...it is there and dawn is breaking into a better day--

    sometimes in the morning i shiver..but it is a good shiver...breaking the ice...like a rejuvenation...a starting over.

    and part of this poem i see me...the shiver climbing the branches to the frosty tips...that part of me that is closed off...the walls, the coldness...but there are stars, there is light of love...and it is breaking through.

    if i did favorites...this would be one, immediately

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-02-14 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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