Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: For Herdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jazzy
    ASL Info:    20/f/USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 90/220/226
    Words: 254
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 552
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1502



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor Herdots
    -------------------------------------------


    She was silky yet silent, bold yet repressed
    Her face was drawn up in perplexion, as she
    Turned the thing through her hand.
    It was red and soft, shy and quiet as she
    Rolled it through her fingers and quietly
    Tucked it away into her pocket.

    All I could do was watch as she moved
    And took it with her. I keep around her
    As much as I can, wondering if maybe someday
    I might gain the nerve to demand it back.
    For now though, it sits there amidst lint
    Humble against debris in the blackness
    Of that pocket, longing to yet again be
    Set free.

    She did not reject it, she did not embrace it
    She merely wanted to own it in an offhanded way.
    It needs light and warmth to thrive, yet
    She only sometimes remembers it's even there.
    But those days when she retrieves it,
    Even for just a moment are bliss.

    I see the look in her eyes as she holds it
    And I feel whole again. She takes my hands
    Into hers and kisses me deeply and in that
    Split second it's worth all the darkness
    And the loneliness and the longing.

    But then, she thrusts it back into hiding,
    And I quietly pine for the next time that
    I can have the privilege of feeling her touch
    Of taking my own hands across her skin
    Of holding her and hearing her sweet voice
    Because it's all that matters.




    Submitted on 2012-02-13 19:37:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I felt this deeply, it is a refreshing perspective and quite a unique way you tell the story of the heart being kept as a souvenir and made me feel it. It came across with an air of sincerity but a layered type of feeling also, I have to say I enjoyed it quite a bit.

    Shawn
    | Posted on 2012-02-15 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194271

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Records I written by Raphael
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Love written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Every..... written by jackz
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Etiquette written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry