Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: so did my eyes seedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 197
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 539
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1043



    Description:
       so much of hate and resent did I see in her eyes today...16-Feb-2012...so much....that I cry


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsso did my eyes seedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I move past by this world of my presence that seeks my tear,
    She walks past by me killing the little of what my tear can cry.
    An eye that cannot see the wretched, the ugly, the unworthy,
    My devil...... I smile at you now and he cries.

    So much to despise in me, I wish to see through her eyes,
    So much to hate in existence of mine that makes me cry.

    My heart is not my bane that fills me with life,
    It is my life itself that exists with no purpose.
    Dream do I no more of a smile that I would,
    as you tear that face of mine and burn it to smile.

    Undying is my love towards you whom I do not know,
    I thank you for killing that dream of mine.
    You who existed in my life in my bane,
    I free you from my face, from my life, from my pain.

    I see darkness from a blind man's eyes,
    I feel my time that passes by me.
    Nature my mother shall I drop a dew more,
    as so did my eyes see this life of mine.




    Submitted on 2012-02-16 07:54:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      like robert creeley once wrote..

    "i feel my eye breaking"

    pain of lost love is that way...

    what we have seen and felt, now breaks the cornea, stretches the retina out of shape...

    we still see inside, but it is just confusion.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-02-17 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194300

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry