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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ball and Chaindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 322
    Class/Type: Fanfic/You left me
    Total Views: 490
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1987



    Description:
       Never assume just because certain things in life are expected, are naturally there does not mean it "always 100%" applies there are always expectation and i seem to always fall under this category


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBall and Chaindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lived my life this way for several reasons
    Learned a decade ago,
    Never to trust another with what you hold sacred

    For if you do...
    Forever, you will reside with a ball and chain around your ankle
    That person will always have that piece of you

    A lonely existence very much so
    However, pain that another can cause
    Is permanently eliminated
    No possible way of becoming some sick play toy for another person's entertainment

    Even with immediate family members
    I only trust them the length I can throw them
    By any extent of the imagination it isn't that far!

    This path I have chosen to lead this empty, lonely life
    Has been thanks to only one person whom is no longer welcome within my dark and dreary world

    Molested for four years of my childhood
    A full blown drug addict by age 18
    Attempted suicide with a 12 gauge shot gun at age 20

    You were my guard keeper for you were the only person who consistently remained in my life
    However, you were also the warden to my soul
    To the darkness that began to surround me all those years ago!!

    Dotting all your "I's" and crossing your "T's", allowing your daughter feel a certain amount of pain.
    My pain ... Needed your stamp of approval
    This you gladly gave!!

    Mother, why can’t you love me?
    What is it that I did to make me unlovable in your mind?
    My entire being physically aches for some type of answer
    Something I know I will never have from you…

    Therefore, I will forever live in a darkness I built all due to your acceptance to my four yearlong molestation at the hands of your husband
    Forever, I will remain with a ball and chain around this ankle of mine
    Due to my own ignorance that all Mother’s love their daughters…




    Submitted on 2012-02-22 11:09:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Jackie,
    It is your mothers faling not your own. You were robbed of that unconditional protection and love! And SHE failed you in every way.
    But you have to stand tall, head high and look at all you have accomplished, everything you have overcome, and where you are today! And be proud! I am.
    And then you have to rise above her, and asp letting her win. No one will ever be able to replace what she should have been for you and the love she should have given you. Sadly, that is a hole only she can fill.
    But you have to find a way to accept to understand ....IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT OR FAILURE IT IS HERS! And you have a right and owe yourself the chance and opportunity to be close to someone, to love and be loved by someone, and to move past that traumatized little girl..
    I have faith in you, and im.proud of who you are and what you have accomplished...

    always here my friend.
    Heather
    | Posted on 2012-02-23 00:00:00 | by trynfinity | [ Reply to This ]


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