Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Wrote A Bookdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: heartbrokenpoet
    Elite Ratio:    1.62 - 0/0/1
    Words: 220
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 597
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1226



    Description:
       A poem I was considering entering into a poetry contest, I was hoping to get feedback and some thoughts on how to maybe better this..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Wrote A Bookdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wrote a book today, spilling the seconds of our life

    sharing the very moment, you asked me to be your wife

    I wrote a book today, I filled it with my pride

    this journey I would only take, if I was to be your bride




    I wrote a book today, detailing our demise

    sitting alone on this bed, wallowing in your lies

    I wrote a book today, its words sheer poetry

    about the day you took that bus, forever leaving me




    I wrote a book today, of a part of me you never knew

    Emoting for lost love in my life, created solely by you

    I wrote a book today, pure helter skelter penned within

    Shadows linger over happiness, and what once could have been




    I mailed that book today, for your eyes to tear apart

    the only words contained within, is that you still have my heart

    I mailed that book today, now these words you know to be true

    Read in these pages words of woe, my cure now lies within you








    Submitted on 2012-02-27 22:32:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194439

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry