[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Wrote A Bookdots

    Author: heartbrokenpoet
    Elite Ratio:    1.62 - 0/0/1
    Words: 220
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 422
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1226

       A poem I was considering entering into a poetry contest, I was hoping to get feedback and some thoughts on how to maybe better this..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Wrote A Bookdots

    I wrote a book today, spilling the seconds of our life

    sharing the very moment, you asked me to be your wife

    I wrote a book today, I filled it with my pride

    this journey I would only take, if I was to be your bride

    I wrote a book today, detailing our demise

    sitting alone on this bed, wallowing in your lies

    I wrote a book today, its words sheer poetry

    about the day you took that bus, forever leaving me

    I wrote a book today, of a part of me you never knew

    Emoting for lost love in my life, created solely by you

    I wrote a book today, pure helter skelter penned within

    Shadows linger over happiness, and what once could have been

    I mailed that book today, for your eyes to tear apart

    the only words contained within, is that you still have my heart

    I mailed that book today, now these words you know to be true

    Read in these pages words of woe, my cure now lies within you

    Submitted on 2012-02-27 22:32:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Stellar written by Passionbyapathy
    Jubilee written by Passionbyapathy
    Arms Race written by NoMartyr
    Contented Lovers written by poetotoe
    MC written by Chelebel
    Wild Herd of Elephant Dreamers written by Passionbyapathy
    Indigo Prophecy written by Passionbyapathy
    Humans Are Dumb written by NoMartyr
    The Dullahan written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Truth written by ForgottenGraves
    Absence written by Passionbyapathy
    eight:twenty-seven written by isabella
    Mid Section written by Chelebel
    Innocence written by jackz
    Oblivion, wild with disuse written by Daniel Barlow
    Deserving of a good title written by Chelebel
    ba da ba da bop! written by hyproglo
    Dolphin Rape Cave written by NoMartyr
    Tug-A-War written by jackz
    Simulacrum (The Horse Before Descartes) written by NoMartyr
    i love you poems for him written by ankur5421
    War of the Sisters - Prologue - In The Beginning written by PryncessVynom
    Please written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Nothingbliss written by NoMartyr
    Soaring Dreams written by Ramneet
    Sleeping Beauty written by NoMartyr
    The Last Terminal written by Latin King
    Glacial Eyes written by Passionbyapathy
    Red Terror written by NoMartyr
    The Saga of Indecision written by poeticscribe13




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]