Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Wrote A Bookdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: heartbrokenpoet
    Elite Ratio:    1.62 - 0/0/1
    Words: 220
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 507
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1226



    Description:
       A poem I was considering entering into a poetry contest, I was hoping to get feedback and some thoughts on how to maybe better this..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Wrote A Bookdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wrote a book today, spilling the seconds of our life

    sharing the very moment, you asked me to be your wife

    I wrote a book today, I filled it with my pride

    this journey I would only take, if I was to be your bride




    I wrote a book today, detailing our demise

    sitting alone on this bed, wallowing in your lies

    I wrote a book today, its words sheer poetry

    about the day you took that bus, forever leaving me




    I wrote a book today, of a part of me you never knew

    Emoting for lost love in my life, created solely by you

    I wrote a book today, pure helter skelter penned within

    Shadows linger over happiness, and what once could have been




    I mailed that book today, for your eyes to tear apart

    the only words contained within, is that you still have my heart

    I mailed that book today, now these words you know to be true

    Read in these pages words of woe, my cure now lies within you








    Submitted on 2012-02-27 22:32:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194439

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Desayuno Serenade written by krs3332003
    Send Me written by gwenn sundala
    Reasoning written by Daniel Barlow
    Hillary written by Soulraven
    another one lost written by Me Rambling
    untitled written by SincerWritinAsh
    cat written by mmray
    Blood Lion written by Passionbyapathy
    Thunder and Lightning written by gwenn sundala
    Brr. written by Outlaw
    Hold me closer tiny tanker written by Chelebel
    Night study written by lori_tab
    Higher Purpose written by Latin King
    View written by saartha
    Send Me written by gwenn sundala
    Pumpkinhead Lullaby written by krs3332003
    Too Dark A House For Such a noble light written by Daniel Barlow
    Self written by jackz
    Forms written by Daniel Barlow
    Raven written by lori_tab
    Fly with one wing written by Daniel Barlow
    Coexists written by Soulraven
    Brusque written by Daniel Barlow
    Sand Size Speck written by Chelebel
    Be A Legend written by WriteSomething
    Tribute written by expiring_touch
    Lack of Intimacy written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Tender Bites written by Chelebel
    One Less Friend written by WriteSomething
    It Follows written by helenastorm13

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry