Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Wrote A Bookdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: heartbrokenpoet
    Elite Ratio:    1.62 - 0/0/1
    Words: 220
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 183
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1226



    Description:
       A poem I was considering entering into a poetry contest, I was hoping to get feedback and some thoughts on how to maybe better this..


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Wrote A Bookdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wrote a book today, spilling the seconds of our life

    sharing the very moment, you asked me to be your wife

    I wrote a book today, I filled it with my pride

    this journey I would only take, if I was to be your bride




    I wrote a book today, detailing our demise

    sitting alone on this bed, wallowing in your lies

    I wrote a book today, its words sheer poetry

    about the day you took that bus, forever leaving me




    I wrote a book today, of a part of me you never knew

    Emoting for lost love in my life, created solely by you

    I wrote a book today, pure helter skelter penned within

    Shadows linger over happiness, and what once could have been




    I mailed that book today, for your eyes to tear apart

    the only words contained within, is that you still have my heart

    I mailed that book today, now these words you know to be true

    Read in these pages words of woe, my cure now lies within you








    Submitted on 2012-02-27 22:32:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194439

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Same Routine written by Latin King
    Pepper-Tree written by Daniel Barlow
    Like a thief in the night written by elephantasia
    Were you to sit here written by elephantasia
    If In The End I Know written by zadhoevlhu13
    Vehement God written by Ramneet
    *a duet in silence written by Daniel Barlow
    Tomorrow written by Daniel Barlow
    The Power of the Wind written by elephantasia
    Eyes Of Being chapter 1 .2 written by Glen Bowman
    For her ! written by Sheharyar
    A Great Labour Is In Being Done written by Daniel Barlow
    The Man in the Moon Outed written by RamSlade
    let it be written by jeniecel
    Eyes Of Being chapter 3 written by Glen Bowman
    The forest without a wind written by hyproglo
    Meghkonna written by Thenocturnal
    Etymology of Humanity written by HisNameIsNoMore
    this time around written by Daniel Barlow
    to go with the waterfall poem written by Daniel Barlow
    Deadfall written by Daniel Barlow
    pretty girls will walk in front of punches written by Daniel Barlow
    The People We Are written by kingsley
    Suffer At The Wonderment written by AsiaticFox
    Death and Life written by elephantasia
    a simple logic written by Daniel Barlow
    disassociation written by expiring_touch
    The Ice and The Stone written by Esophagus1
    Paring It Down To Just One Thing written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Upon A Time In Mexico written by Latin King

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry