[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: So Rundots

    Author: austin
    ASL Info:    22/ Male/ Odessa, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.41 - 376/396/84
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Trapped
    Total Views: 492
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1034

       Latest song ive written, I dont believe that I will use all the lyrics, im still struggling with the bridge, but I hope you enjoy

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSo Rundots

    TIme, has been passing you by,
    as if to steal
    the blue from the sky
    While I, beg for the right
    to convince myself
    that I can make it alright

    ohh...it comes around

    So run, run while you can
    the skies seem so fair
    but you wouldn't dare to leave
    leave all this nothing
    you were the one thing
    you were the one thing wrong

    Real, as it appears in dreams
    forever feels
    like the fraying in seams
    and freedom, a basic need
    like an internal flame
    that struggles to breathe

    Ohh...it comes around

    I never dreamed
    through all of my years
    my clarity would be
    so increasingly smeared
    I can't be
    what you need

    I run, run while I can
    The skies are so fair
    I finally dare to leave
    leave all this nothing
    for you were the one thing
    you were the one thing wrong

    Submitted on 2012-02-27 23:38:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      For me, this is a song about getting what's coming to you. In this case, the person who hurt you had better run while they can, because eventually, what goes around, comes around.

    I think you're suggesting this (what goes aroud, comes around) by saying "ohhh...it comes around". But I'm probably wrong.

    I really like at the end how you switch to saying "I run, run while I can"...as if you realize (finally) that all of this is no good.

    It even appears to me that this whole song could be about you...and how you perceived yourself as being no good for someone (or maybe, not good enough). I guess it's all in the interpretation...

    In any case, nice work!

    | Posted on 2012-03-03 00:00:00 | by krs3332003 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Love written by saartha
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Carry written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Shi written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]