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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Just a Tickdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Andz
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 252/106/47
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 614
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 398



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJust a Tickdots
    -------------------------------------------


    So! Here is found that hour quiet
    Moment by moment silted away.
    A fallen leaf, sunburnt flower
    Paled by days of high noon’s;
    Moonish hills of July’s erosion &
    Hopping feet singing up a skirt
    Of lavender, estranged to woe,
    A fragrant wilderness, silver green
    Bright to see robed this strangeness
    Of summers dusts and storms.




    Submitted on 2012-03-01 07:06:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like that first enjambment where the inversion sort of gets righted so that it sort of becomes quiet' moment, by moment...'

    the whole poem is like that really and it's nice, you could almost have these long and wandering moments and there's a place in it, always, where the mood changes, it's sort of like watching a butterfly almost stop and always not quite stop.

    So! Here is found that hour quiet Moment
    by moment silted away. A fallen leaf, sunburnt flower Paled by days
    of high noon’s; Moonish hills of July’s erosion & Hopping feet
    singing up a skirtOf lavender, estranged to woe,
    A fragrant wilderness,
    silver green
    Bright to see
    robed this strangeness
    Of summers

    dusts and storms.


    not that i want you to put it like that, just that the run on thing is there despite the punctuation, instinct takes over, or the eyes
    follow

    where they are led.

    lovely.
    | Posted on 2012-03-02 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      "hopping feet singing up a skirt of lavender"

    great line.

    i find this piece calming...

    such brilliant description compacted into short space..

    is it "summer's"?

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-03-01 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is rather sonnet-like in motif and layout, Di... you bring out the wild beauty of your Aussie homeland with a gloriously lilting force.

    A pleasure to read you again.
    Adieu.

    J
    | Posted on 2012-03-01 00:00:00 | by trinityfinger | [ Reply to This ]


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