[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My Father and the Renameddots

    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 316
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 518
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1848


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Father and the Renameddots

    the long car ride and your eyes shining as you speak of the truck
    you swear went straight through you but somehow left you whole
    unscathed trembling with the miraculous
    and the time you saw the top of the basketball rim when you jumped so high
    and later, when you took those small-town kids all the way to state

    other poems and myths
    legends of hands on violins that couldn't be played after being brought from the old country to cut meat in New York
    and the woman who loved them and feared them all at once

    and so much comes back to you and when you were a boy and your best friend shot you in the leg
    how you bled in blooms of red into the white snow
    how you were never supposed to run again but got a scholarship to college for track and field

    this hero has saved me

    I sit and gather my hands in my lap
    listen to the breathing of you and of me
    think of your dead father
    and mother
    and the way they took fear and molded it into dignity
    and my mother, your wife, and how she tried to let no pain
    get past her to her cubs, no matter how grizzly they had grown

    I look out the side window at the lake
    streaked with yellow moon and cool glass-like stillness

    this is the miraculous
    this and every this
    and that and every that

    and my children that I ache for already
    less than a day away

    and later, holding my breath when I enter my room
    from childhood
    from adulthood
    after the broken marriage that led me back

    to this hero that made me
    this hero that saved me
    this hero and the others
    and me

    and I am renamed
    I am dignity

    Submitted on 2012-03-03 06:47:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I long for what you wrote here!! This is so eloquently put!!! I silently cry at I type this .. I ache to just have parents

    | Posted on 2012-03-20 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      they say you can never go home again...but not true...when everyone else fails us...family remains by our side.

    this poem is so heartfelt...the feelings of displacement, of loss, and then of hope, being home again...

    i read this and think of my grandfather...coming over on the boat from Sicily...his name change, his making it in the states...and then raising my dad, at least for as long as grandpa was around.

    this is a personal piece i know...but in some special way...we can all relate to this scenario...

    and how we go back to those who really love us no matter what.

    | Posted on 2012-03-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
    I'm going to fave this Jane, wrote this exceptionally well, didn't you. yes.
    | Posted on 2012-03-03 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      It's nice you have such spiritual memories of mom and dad. Not everyone is so lucky.

    | Posted on 2012-03-03 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]