Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Father and the Renameddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.77 - 419/434/131
    Words: 316
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 593
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1848



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Father and the Renameddots
    -------------------------------------------


    the long car ride and your eyes shining as you speak of the truck
    you swear went straight through you but somehow left you whole
    unscathed trembling with the miraculous
    and the time you saw the top of the basketball rim when you jumped so high
    and later, when you took those small-town kids all the way to state

    other poems and myths
    legends of hands on violins that couldn't be played after being brought from the old country to cut meat in New York
    and the woman who loved them and feared them all at once

    and so much comes back to you and when you were a boy and your best friend shot you in the leg
    how you bled in blooms of red into the white snow
    how you were never supposed to run again but got a scholarship to college for track and field

    this hero has saved me

    I sit and gather my hands in my lap
    listen to the breathing of you and of me
    think of your dead father
    and mother
    and the way they took fear and molded it into dignity
    and my mother, your wife, and how she tried to let no pain
    get past her to her cubs, no matter how grizzly they had grown

    I look out the side window at the lake
    streaked with yellow moon and cool glass-like stillness

    this is the miraculous
    this and every this
    and that and every that

    and my children that I ache for already
    less than a day away

    and later, holding my breath when I enter my room
    from childhood
    from adulthood
    after the broken marriage that led me back

    to this hero that made me
    this hero that saved me
    this hero and the others
    and me

    and I am renamed
    I am dignity




    Submitted on 2012-03-03 06:47:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I long for what you wrote here!! This is so eloquently put!!! I silently cry at I type this .. I ache to just have parents

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2012-03-20 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      they say you can never go home again...but not true...when everyone else fails us...family remains by our side.

    this poem is so heartfelt...the feelings of displacement, of loss, and then of hope, being home again...

    i read this and think of my grandfather...coming over on the boat from Sicily...his name change, his making it in the states...and then raising my dad, at least for as long as grandpa was around.

    this is a personal piece i know...but in some special way...we can all relate to this scenario...

    and how we go back to those who really love us no matter what.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-03-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      
    I'm going to fave this Jane, wrote this exceptionally well, didn't you. yes.
    | Posted on 2012-03-03 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      It's nice you have such spiritual memories of mom and dad. Not everyone is so lucky.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2012-03-03 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194487

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Bond written by saartha
    untitled written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    To written by SavedDragon
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    This written by Chelebel
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Push written by JanePlane
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry