Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Roostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Daniel Barlow
    Elite Ratio:    6.12 - 2022/1866/1289
    Words: 51
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 222
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 294



    Description:
       Imagine those star thingees are bullet points.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRoostdots
    -------------------------------------------



    * you sip
    * at you're wine
    * thump, & go out. these
    * are, your sounds and you make them -as if
    * there was a wall between us. exquisite fascination,
    * i mouth something over the fence. how
    * quietly the night has found a place to sit.




    Submitted on 2012-03-03 17:34:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      
    The bullet/starthingees make this visually interesting as well as cool to read, how it cuts off lines & sort of makes any punctuation in the line somewhat secondary to the bullets. It's quite clever in its form alone, but then there's the content & how you have used that form & naturally you do it all justice.

    Quick question: Did you mean "you're wine"? rather than "your wine".

    I was going to go into detail about why & how I like this line or that, but now I've found myself quite taken by all the lines & how they stand alone as well as interact with each other. Each are a monostich & not, & it's just such a wonderful effect. & Of course there's the wine. & the noises within the poem. They are heard things & also felt. "thump, & go out.". "i mouth …. how". & this act of the night finding a place to sit. That image is so incredibly fine & so … right, I guess, in description.
    | Posted on 2012-08-31 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
      misc misc.
    | Posted on 2012-03-03 00:00:00 | by thesunbird | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194489

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    that one bar written by etheror
    LĂ„PPLE written by Sethesin
    C He Really Is Special written by Narna
    Pillars and Pillows written by Rainin_Raspbery
    Free, the Crocus written by KimmyMim
    Conspiracy written by closetpoet
    painful changes written by gwenn sundala
    Friar Tuck written by Blue Monk
    Turmoil written by Forgiven
    musings on death written by gwenn sundala
    The Demon in my Bed written by ThtDizzyDreamer
    We Smile as We Suffer written by Esophagus1
    Monarch Butterflies written by poetotoe
    Morning Musings of a Woman With Abandonment Issues written by Carosuel
    L-etyourS-elfgoD-own written by MyPeriodical
    Born Last written by Narna
    Fateful Life written by poet09
    Perspective written by StrangeEnigma
    Scarlet Fever written by kase
    Crushes written by expiring_touch
    The Actions Reaction written by Forgiven
    Flavourless written by kase
    Lexicon of Listlessness written by Narna
    Soul shattered written by Passionbyapathy
    October written by expiring_touch
    Translations written by Daniel Barlow
    fresh graves written by etheror
    Air Born Dreams written by poetotoe
    A Hand to Hold written by Windigo
    Freelance Grafiker Ankara - Ă–zel Ders Ankara written by bbkagp

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry