This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Mistress Maven

Author: krs3332003
Elite Ratio:    6.44 - 146 /116 /67
Words: 179
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 2814
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1272


Muses can come from the most unusual of places...

Mistress Maven

For aptitude in morbid verse
with lies to them she did coerce
An aeon's worth of foul intent
was Mistress Maven's bleak lament

Don't you wish that they could see
the truth of your deception
The empty written words you write
for spite and misdirection

Such fervid anguish toils your mind
of hallowed visions left behind
Oh Mistress Maven hear our pleas
for more deceit of stormy seas

Tranquil senses tell a tale
that only some can know
A mask of virtuosity
from which you would bestow

You beckon them for clemency
Your silver-tongue a fantasy
Mistress Maven shall we dance?
A malcontent from circumstance

The delirium of your escape
can hold the tepid tone
Behind those eyes the wind subsides
from tainted words you've sown

As ghostly shadows gallop by
they seize the thoughts she must deny
And Mistress Maven turns to dust
for chants that broke the sacred trust

And now to rest and contemplate
the lessons of this lore
A respite from her maelstrom
Dear Mistress Maven, never more

Submitted on 2012-03-05 11:51:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Again I appreciated the rhyme. Flawless. It this seems like it sort of possesed you, it has that eary supernatural vibe. It also seems personal ( I could be reading my own life and ideas into it) as if your inspiration WS perfectly in tune to an emotion of yours, the writer.

Really beautifully written. The more I read of yours the more your character and depth of talent are revealed as it should with anyone of note. I hope that your pieces find themselves in their own contemporary collection one day.
| Posted on 2016-08-14 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
  I need to find out who Mistress Maven is, if you are citing some character I ought to have read about but didn't. Can't get much out of this piece otherwise. Maybe that is a fault in it, or maybe in me! But it is well written in every way that I enjoy, so this praise is not really so faint as it probably seems!
| Posted on 2015-05-05 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
  The magic is even more apparent. Yes, and tell her Hi for me also. Kudos K.
| Posted on 2012-03-05 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
  You automatically get a 10 point advantage for writing in rhyme. This is somewhat different than the initial version I read, if memory serves. Iinitially said I enjoyed it but found it a little bumpy. This is not and has a little better theme/direction if memory also serves.

I was also thanking you earlier for giving me a new word of the day:
which it helps to understand to get the full elegance of things. The closing Maven (raven) "never more" is a cute nod to Poe.

I think it could use an opening stanza added to set the stage, introduce the Mistress, etc. to let us know you are talking to her instead of us, perhaps letting us know a little more about her nature and propensities. I note you did a little of that in the discription which I did not notice earlier. Cool stuff.
| Posted on 2012-03-05 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
  This strikes me as a some what morbid nursery rhyme. Just the flow and the rhyming scheme of the whole thing. Though I enjoyed the subject and context within the piece, very gripping.
| Posted on 2012-03-05 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?