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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The jade clouddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Glen Bowman
    ASL Info:    70 m Oz
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1140/307/186
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Mirror or Mask
    Total Views: 1135
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 571



    Description:
       Well, the sky is like the mind, sort of.

    Often I go for a poem that has just the one metaphor, not so much "sustained" as developed. This is supposed to be like that.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe jade clouddots
    -------------------------------------------


    You can smack into it
    like a probe at a comet
    sending one last signal

    instead of long-loving
    this vast vague
    inner lit wind wandering
    high heaven humming
    tune to the eye

    with its witty whorls and its changing
    like this, like that
    sky touring shape shows;

    you can go: "I will say there!"
    and rocket aloft, idiot,
    so folk can observe the collision,
    analyze
    its electromagnetic spectrum,
    and detect
    an organic molecule.




    Submitted on 2012-03-20 18:48:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      There's a lot of talk lately about cloud computing, where most of your computer's data/knowledge base and program abilities are stored "in the cloud". Upon reflection I think this concept is actually a very old one, at least that's what is being said if one listens to his daily Kabbalah lesson. http://www.arigoldwag.com/dkl.html
    | Posted on 2012-03-21 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      this is like a shapeshifting poem--i visualize a collage of colors swirling on a screen taking on different shapes, constant movement..."high heaven humming/ tune to the eye"

    like hearing the blue sky, like seeing the music of life.

    this just curls itself up with the reader.
    there is collision in our minds...of thoughts...and others are privy to those thoughts, those fender benders..as they read our poetry.

    i really like this piece. i wanted to smack into it.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-03-20 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    7. What was unclear?
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    9. How could it be improved?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    194657

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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