Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The jade clouddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Glen Bowman
    ASL Info:    70 m Oz
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1140/307/186
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Mirror or Mask
    Total Views: 778
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 571



    Description:
       Well, the sky is like the mind, sort of.

    Often I go for a poem that has just the one metaphor, not so much "sustained" as developed. This is supposed to be like that.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe jade clouddots
    -------------------------------------------


    You can smack into it
    like a probe at a comet
    sending one last signal

    instead of long-loving
    this vast vague
    inner lit wind wandering
    high heaven humming
    tune to the eye

    with its witty whorls and its changing
    like this, like that
    sky touring shape shows;

    you can go: "I will say there!"
    and rocket aloft, idiot,
    so folk can observe the collision,
    analyze
    its electromagnetic spectrum,
    and detect
    an organic molecule.




    Submitted on 2012-03-20 18:48:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      There's a lot of talk lately about cloud computing, where most of your computer's data/knowledge base and program abilities are stored "in the cloud". Upon reflection I think this concept is actually a very old one, at least that's what is being said if one listens to his daily Kabbalah lesson. http://www.arigoldwag.com/dkl.html
    | Posted on 2012-03-21 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      this is like a shapeshifting poem--i visualize a collage of colors swirling on a screen taking on different shapes, constant movement..."high heaven humming/ tune to the eye"

    like hearing the blue sky, like seeing the music of life.

    this just curls itself up with the reader.
    there is collision in our minds...of thoughts...and others are privy to those thoughts, those fender benders..as they read our poetry.

    i really like this piece. i wanted to smack into it.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-03-20 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194657

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Carry written by saartha
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Records I written by Raphael
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Cover written by saartha
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry