[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Background hiss (cosmic microwave background)dots

    Author: Glen Bowman
    ASL Info:    70 m Oz
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1140/307/186
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/
    Total Views: 567
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 529

       I like making poems that compare evolution with creation myths. It's supposed to be funny, but basically this topic gives me the cold shivers. Too big.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBackground hiss (cosmic microwave background)dots

    Sinuous traces whispering:
    "Eat it, know ..."

    With a jewel in its head?
    Your tail in its teeth:
    only another old tale
    by wild folk
    about untamed law

    ... that the star burns,
    that the souls grow,
    that their truths and lies
    have descendants
    if they can.

    Complex mathematics muttering:
    "Measure! Know!"
    A new voice? Never.
    But spoken in forks
    of a new, weird tree.

    Submitted on 2012-03-20 18:57:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I have to say you are good at using words. A trait I was once good with. I mean I always though I was at least the imagery part. I mean I could always find the words to describe pain. Love, especially, has always been hard for me to describe. I feel there is a lot to learn from you. Don't mind my curiosity for I do not like to read many others poetry.

    As to the piece the transitioning from line to line and metaphor to metaphor is nice. I like poems that rhyme. Not to say the occasional poem without rhyming is nice. I've always been one to stick to my guns I guess. Though at times when I write I find myself having that one poem that has no hope in rhyming at all, or that ever so persistent good line that sticks out. Which either does not fit in the stanza, does not rhyme, or possibly both.

    I also like the topic of the poem, depth, and general flow, even though it does not rhyme. Though it did not it still read very nicely and easily. Almost fluently.

    I did find it off that there was not more detail to the piece. It seems a bit simple, when I know you could shoot for greater.


    | Posted on 2013-10-02 00:00:00 | by siroez | [ Reply to This ]
      Quite compelling. This is apparently where minds that seek meaning and truth look and listen and ultimately evolve, bit by bit towards one thing or another.

    Some feel that mathematics tell us truth, but in truth it is only a language by which we describe observed relationships - if this, then that (at least as far as we can currently tell). What it does not say is how much we have yet to observe, yet to even consider. At such time as existing mathematics fall short (as it always will), we invent some new mathematics in an attempt to "solve" things. Another, higher fork in the tree perhaps? But always... there is more, much more.

    On the other hand, is the shortcut of going right to the source of all things a valid one? Does "it" meet us half way or even deliver the goods directly to some of us at prescribed times? Religion implies mystical origins but also implies control of what is allowed to be known, by whom as well as when. Plus, if an active agent exists which can prevent us from any direct knowledge even as to it's own actual existence, is there a purpose to that?

    Perhaps "too big" is by design, since many don't yet have the teeth to chew same without choking.
    | Posted on 2012-03-21 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    prison written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Records I written by Raphael
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Cover written by saartha
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]