Description: I was lying in bed one night and I thought of this idea for a poem. I thought it was a kick a$$ idea, but I think something's missing. Should it be longer? Any general advice on how to make it better?
There are no bright yellow bricks
to light up the path,
no stepping stones for the road to Oz.
There are no cheeky munchkins
to encourage you with a song,
to dance out the map for the journey.
There is no scarecrow,
to be an unpenetrable guide.
omg I just saw where everyone tried to compell you to add on to this. NO, DON'T DO IT! or, maybe you can, but I, as a writer, when once I've finished a piece of work, cannot add to it. believe me I've tried, and every time I only messed it up.
stops with a witch and never ends.. how will it make sense with out a end.. it goes well and needs no length .. all it needs is a finish... give it good finish and let the readers know wat and where to place themselvs.. it does prompt a imagination and again it is of the "oz".. it is a good topic and well ... u can enhance it that way bye
the main characters are hardly mentioned. tin man, lion and scarecrow have 1 line each. try to write more about them. say something bout how there are no clicking shoes to take you home. no great castle. and mention some of the morals in the story. thats my advice. its a kick a$$ idea it just needs work to be a kick a$$ poem. good luck
if there aren't these things - what is there? that is what is missing. I like it, its nice to see a parallel drawn, its nice to read, something not depressed, i'm interested to see what else you do with this piece, please let me know :)