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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

escape

Author:	scardnscared
ASL Info:	25/ DFW
Elite Ratio:	3.1 - 585 /498 /311
Words:	188

Class/Type:	Poetry /Depressed
Total Views:	1143
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1061

Description:

escape

i dont know what to do
im scared, coming unglued
and all i can do is stare at your face
but your brains already light years away
and your love has already made an escape
your cracking up and you claim im insane...
not a second goes by
and your already wrapped deep inside my brain
your just like a leech babe
you suck out the best of me
and now im so far gone that i cannot bleed
and i know that this is wrong
but how do i know what love is
when i grew up in a loveless home
and my path is never clear
but i know that your my home my dear
i cant get around the fact
that i am the straw that broke the camels back
and i am ashamed to say
that i cried for so many days
and now im washed up and turning grey
everything just looks the same
and im on autopilot my dear..

i dont know what to do
im scared and im coming unglued
cant you just put me back together again?

Submitted on 2012-03-23 14:32:05 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

First of all the poem would look a lot better if you would change all the "im" to "I'm" and the "dont" to 'don't".
Also try this: "you're cracking up" instead of "your cracking up"
"not a second goes by
before you are already wrapped deep inside my brain"
instead of "not a second goes by
and your already wrapped deep inside my brain"
" you're my home my dear" instead of "your my home dear"

Do that and the poem will read a bit smoother.
This is a good read.

| Posted on 2012-04-09 00:00:00 | by PrettyHeart | [ Reply to This ]

Very good muse, echoing thoughts that all of us have had at one time or another. A friend of mine once said "if it were'nt for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all"! The low times in life are a test of resolve, and if we "tough it" through, good times are sure to follow!

| Posted on 2012-03-25 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

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