Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: six:thirty-threedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: isabella
    Elite Ratio:    5.56 - 803/905/472
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 485
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 397



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotssix:thirty-threedots
    -------------------------------------------





    birds chase birds.
    bikes go by.
    maples put on lipstick.

    i take my shirt off.
    sip beer.
    read four paragraphs

    and start thinking about how
    it's seventy-some-degrees-out.
    it's seventy-some-degrees-out


    and sun feels longer going down.







    Submitted on 2012-03-24 19:16:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You had me at "i take my shirt off"

    :P
    | Posted on 2012-11-20 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      "and start thinking about how
    it's seventy-some-degrees-out.
    it's seventy-some-degrees-out


    and sun feels longer going down. "

    This gets all mixed up in my head and for that i love it. I particularly love the little things. The way "It's seventy-some degrees out" is repeated in the same strophe but the first one gets a period so that the long pause between the last two lines literally stretches out and makes it feel longer at the end. And then the going down with the sip of beer going down as well marries nicely.

    And of course the obvious,who couldn't love maples putting on lipstick.

    a bear putting on lipstick would be scary though.

    like i said, it gets all mixed up. And yes I'm working from home today. Whooo


    | Posted on 2012-05-11 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      The sun is longer, and it's about time too. I am transported to my back yard, beer in hand watching the sky, the birds, the bugs flying around. This is definitely Spring and half my garden is in the ground. But it's really the clear-sky nights that have been special... no, on second thought it's each minute that goes by.
    | Posted on 2012-03-26 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      i like
    "maples put on lipstick/ i take my shirt off"

    nature robes itself, we disrobe...

    the sun is rising higher, and warmer.

    "all things almost being"

    well, almost.
    | Posted on 2012-03-24 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194701

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry