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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: First stars (@ Siding Springs Observatory)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Glen Bowman
    ASL Info:    70 m Oz
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1140/307/186
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 558
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 423



    Description:
       Latest version of a rhyme that was here before, sometime.

    This project about night skies was to say something like this, but there are lots of angles on it! See "Telescope!", a sonnet somewhere below.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFirst stars (@ Siding Springs Observatory)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Twilight on our mountain
    Slides up from the plain,
    Sneaks all worlds
    Slowly down to our eyes.

    Floating on fire down here
    Is so little, so little;
    Only some land, some sea:
    Where shall we go?

    But into shadow
    And who shall we be?
    But eyes
    On a dark hill,

    And how shall we see
    But by touch
    Of you and me?




    Submitted on 2012-03-25 21:18:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Oh lovely! I'm swept into this content feeling of blissful union. Where hiding and finding shelter are one and the same. Gorgeous tone throughout and I love :

    And how shall we see
    But by touch
    Of you and me?


    Simply spellbinding

    Has a very old world feel to it...now I am curious to see the rest on your list, are they all so proper yet yet incredibly moving?!?!

    Excellent

    Kelly
    | Posted on 2013-02-12 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, there is a calmness to it, a kind of serenity as the stars appear and it brings in a deeper feeling of connectedness even if only by sight between the observer and the observed.

    However the first stanza feels disconnected from the rest, for some reason it feels like I want to read :

    Twilight on our mountain
    Slides out of the plain,
    Sneaks all worlds
    Slowly down to our eyes.

    As:

    Twilight on our mountain
    Slides out of the plain,
    Sneaks small worlds
    Slowly down to our eyes.

    Dunno, just my 2c :)
    | Posted on 2013-02-06 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]


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