Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Birds of kinshipdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Glen Bowman
    ASL Info:    70 m Oz
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1140/307/186
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 737
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 856



    Description:
       The previous posting is "Albatross", that I got by grinding down a sonnet. My sonnets are crappy, usually. Anyway, then I puffed up "Albatross" into this fresh

    crappy sonnet

    well I can't help it, there is no known treatment for the condition.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBirds of kinshipdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Waymaker, from my wondering you flee,
    sister of storms, sleek calms, the voyaging swells,
    white-winged over a dreamworld's wide weird sea,
    around the globe of heavens, the globe of hells,
    then somehow make your way again to me.

    I am your island, waymaker: only
    your rock for meetings where your mate arrives
    according to that clock, his heart, stone-free
    and wed to wandering but when shared life drives
    your wings to seek my stone and rest - and speak!

    You're my life, waymaker, all your kind:
    do you create the seas you voyage in?
    You soar, long-lost by my horizoned mind,
    some day returning like a soul's lost twin!

    Waymaker, search the seas of Time and find
    the unknown for the known - these parted kin.




    Submitted on 2012-03-29 17:47:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The title to this one caught my eye. Your commentary is quite funny in your description section, but I don't think this is crappy as your imagining.

    Your meter flows well, even though I realize you haven't written it strictly metrically, but it is nice that you've maintained a basic pattern rhythmically.

    I think you've also incorporated some nice images and quite poetic ideas. These two lines here are lovely:

    sister of storms, sleek calms, the voyaging swells,
    white-winged over a dreamworld's wide weird sea,

    I like the alliteration you've used, it adds a nice touch.

    My first form poem was a sonnet, so I have a sort of kinship with the sonnet and also the ballad in terms of form poetry, and always enjoy reading other poet's sonnets. Enjoyed this one.
    | Posted on 2012-08-15 00:00:00 | by emwren | [ Reply to This ]
      One of the most interesting prayers to the cosmic life force I've ever read. It's like, down here at the bizarre bazaar we all believe in the blasphemous farcical fugueness, preterite renditions and all. One big happy estranged ensemble orchestration. Audible augur, accidence ambience acoustics and lucidly lurid lechery.

    Bruce
    | Posted on 2012-04-02 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194760

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cover written by saartha
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer written by layDsayD
    untitled written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Fasade written by jackz
    AI written by poetotoe
    True Death written by layDsayD
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Carry written by saartha
    Whiteout written by layDsayD

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry