Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sacrificedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 217
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 638
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1224



    Description:
       Ten reasons of death

    1. Old age
    2. Wrath
    3. solitude
    4. Emptiness
    5. Despair
    6. Destruction
    7. Intoxication
    8. Insanity
    9. Greed
    10. Sacrifice

    Tenth -- Sacrifice
    Finally I reach my deadline and my final thoughts before settling down to an endless demise. I look back at myself drowning my happiness in dark waters and walking the path that i never wanted to.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSacrificedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I thought she would hold my hand...
    I hoped she would hug my cry...
    I smiled like a fool to see that she never existed.

    Happiness I see you over there,
    drowning in your own tears.
    The other nine stood there beside you
    reminding of how fake on you is the hope that bears.

    You fight again with me in that same false hope,
    of finding the one that never exists.
    You smile with a tear and look at all,
    of whom they do not have a tear to dry.

    So did I drown you in those dark waters,
    of my heart thinking that the pain will go away.
    But you yet rise and ask,
    Why is it that you are still alive?

    I walk thy by side,
    looking at nothing but the truth,
    For I have left all of you to haunt,
    this heart of mine till I die.

    I'll tell you the truth....

    I am a freak among normal people around me as they claim.
    I am a speck in this tiny world large enough to endure all the pain.
    I long for love that never existed since I was a child.
    I find myself on a road never once again in a while and for the last time......alone....




    Submitted on 2012-03-30 22:29:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it :) .. you seem to do a similar thing that I do and that is have a skeleton to work with and then add the accesssries and body along the way.. it gives a finished shine... I enjoy poems (and songs) that speak of opposites, in this case a form of happiness whit h ended in sadness.. there's something about comparing 'deatg' and 'life's or ' boy's andy ' girl' that appeals to me. To find a love that never existed as a child, is my favorite line.. I do hope that you find it someday.. good luck to you and beautiful words!
    | Posted on 2012-03-31 00:00:00 | by dannyshyboy | [ Reply to This ]
      Not a very good poem I'll say it myself...but wanted to express the path as a sacrifice I make in life...either way...the last reason of my death....sacrifice..(Sacrifice happiness to get everything else)
    | Posted on 2012-03-30 00:00:00 | by keestu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194769

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fasade written by jackz
    Shi written by ShyOne
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Carry written by saartha
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry