[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Message Beneath The Surfacedots

    Author: Crestfallenman
    ASL Info:    24/M/CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 622/961/452
    Words: 244
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 434
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1578


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMessage Beneath The Surfacedots

    Oh, when I was young...
    When everything was so alive
    Where does it go from here?

    Where do we go...

    I grew within so many shapes of form,
    It made me the man that I am today.
    Surfacing the deeper parts of the world,
    Fully submerged in the lack of a present form.

    I've laid my bones,
    I've made my place,
    I've laid out my tears and blood,
    And sick of seeing this in me still.

    For a lack of a better word, abandonment.
    Has settled in,
    Silence has been broken,
    And I push my hardest to move on.

    I'm trying to move on..

    I try to think, where did we get from here?
    Innocence to this.
    Frail world,
    Photographs of memoirs flashes in my head,
    Staying from bed, losing time, losing life,
    Losing love, losing yourself...

    I'm moving on .

    Reliving the anguish,
    To only find it made me who I am today,
    The journey of a slower approach.
    And I have made it closer,
    Closer to the edge of the universe,
    A place so far from you all where I can't hurt,
    Can't hurt anymore.
    That is called emotional freedom,
    Not having to rely and account for you all.
    I am who I am,
    Unnoticed by many,
    And a secondary only I have witnessed.
    I am waking,
    I have awoken.

    I have moved on.

    Please keep me on the same track...

    Submitted on 2012-03-31 02:37:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Cool. There's some hills to climb for all of us with some being more steep than others. Cresting such, the air gets better, the going gets easier and the view becomes larger and in focus. "I have moved on" is a good closing as well as "Please keep me on the same track" (the right track) which sounds as much a prayer as anything.
    | Posted on 2012-04-02 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    AI written by poetotoe
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Love written by saartha
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Fasade written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Summer written by layDsayD
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]