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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: eight:nineteendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: isabella
    Elite Ratio:    5.56 - 803/905/472
    Words: 24
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 674
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 188



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotseight:nineteendots
    -------------------------------------------





    listen.
    we are all connected.
    we are (all of us)
    connected
    in some small way.





    Submitted on 2012-03-31 08:54:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like how you use time, in the whole of your work. How it feels real because it feels like a journal entry.

    Fuck that. How it is real because it very obviously is a journal entry. How you use that context to make it mean more, because it's coming from you. How the days are a battle, how big thoughts come and give us hope, give us a moment of clarity. How important it is to share that moment when we're most real.

    | Posted on 2012-06-24 00:00:00 | by lukewarm | [ Reply to This ]
      A somewhat old message, but somehow the use of 'all of us' makes it really shine. I completely disagree with dannyshyboy--this has a very Zen feel, and extra lines would ruin the effect.
    | Posted on 2012-04-04 00:00:00 | by saartha | [ Reply to This ]
      
    Hello Miss Gillian,

    It has been some time, but it is good to see some familiar names in the new writes list, and this is absolutely right. We are all connected, for better or worse, and sometimes its those small ways that make the biggest, most wonderful differences and significances. It's easy to overlook the small things.

    And the emphasis on "all of us" is perfect.

    -Emeya.
    | Posted on 2012-04-03 00:00:00 | by Lady of Shalott | [ Reply to This ]
      Very deep :) I like it.. my only suggestion would be, only an opinion, would be to add a little more ...but there are great poems out there with few lines, this one being one of them.
    | Posted on 2012-03-31 00:00:00 | by dannyshyboy | [ Reply to This ]


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