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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Perception Deceptiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Blue Monk
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1556/457/118
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 738
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 420



    Description:
       I'm working the "one a day for a month" thing but I don't know how or if I can do that yet.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPerception Deceptiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Once when we were very young
    it centered on ourselves
    to capture all eternity
    and place it on our shelves

    To me to me we all agree
    a trough to ego bloat
    and sense the world through senses that
    stay horny as a goat

    But senses always lie to us
    perception loves to fool
    too late too late we over ate
    forgetting every rule




    Submitted on 2012-04-09 16:00:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The rhythm of this is very good. Propels one along very nicely. It is jovial in its attitude, which I enjoyed and its meaning resonates. A good piece.
    | Posted on 2013-07-20 00:00:00 | by CNPerry | [ Reply to This ]
      Bravo, Lloyd!
    It's fantastic that you've taken up such a challenge...I have an idea that you know what to do and will do it well.
    This is a prime example.
    You've got the rhythm and rhyme down without the singsong side-effect (which I always seem to get)
    and your sentiments are wise and cleverly presented.

    I'm looking forward to the rest of April...
    | Posted on 2012-04-09 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      we overindulge on ourselves, but underindulge doing for others...

    the bloated feeling can be very uncomfortable...

    i like the poem's message...(at least as i see it)

    and i like how it snuck up on me, not heavy handed at all....

    and placing eternity on OUR shelves....that is a lot of pressure to protect that possession...too much...we need to share it with others.


    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-04-09 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      The second stanza made me laugh, especially that last line.

    I am so pleased people are doing NaPo. It makes me feel like part of some secret community.
    | Posted on 2012-04-09 00:00:00 | by saartha | [ Reply to This ]


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