I like this one however I wonder about the high
part? Did she use drugs all of the time? I had friends like that
they were only happy when they were high.
But they were happy all of the time too until their minds
started to go then they got really weird and had to
You have two incredibly high-impact turns of phrase in this poem. The first is with the first stanza into the line "when you're not high" and the second is, obviously, the second to last stanza: "in a long time- / it's been a while // since you fell asleep on me."
They are stunning not just for their composure and technique but also their honesty which comes across more like admitting to something you do not want to. The phrasing is what kills me most. Somehow it's inevitable. These sections gnawed at my soul and I also felt put the middle section a little to shame. It's not nearly as good. While on one hand the somewhat common place, border-line cliché observations taking up the middle make sense because it suits the mood and emphasizes the state of this person you're referring to, that beginning and end are just too damn good for it.
Probably not the best comment, but there you have it. Sorry if it came off harsh.
honesty when talking in our sleep--like in a drunken state, the truth often comes out.
frivolity...not taking things seriously...cause if i do, i will fall apart...
i see the drug induced state here...that i found with many of my college friends...reality was too hard to deal with...it was easier for them to face life in a drug induced state..even if the happiness was quite temporary.