[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: What I Know.dots

    Author: eggshells
    ASL Info:    23/M/WA
    Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 29/75/68
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 685
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 859

       I am at a change in my life, I suppose and this kindly describes the way I have lived these past few years.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat I Know.dots

    I only know what I've
    Been told.

    So therefore,
    I don't know
    What I don't know.

    I like to lie.
    I don't know why.

    It seems to give me
    A false sense of

    I suppose,
    I want to see the looks
    Spread upon their faces.
    It seems almost as if they
    Are giving me their graces.
    Telling things
    I've never done.
    I feel like a winner,
    Who has never won.

    After all those feelings have faded,
    I am left with nothing
    And I don't know what to do.

    I'm always after what my parents hated.
    I don't recommend lying.
    It really eats up inside of you.

    Submitted on 2012-04-13 19:44:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This does have a good message and reminds me of someone in particular out of my past. I think it was half a fantasy thing and the other half a control thing. Except for the lies it might have lasted, would have lasted, but at some point one gives up.
    | Posted on 2012-04-14 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      at times i would like to see stronger wording in this...but love the idea.

    we always know less than we think we know...and the more we learn, the more we understand that we have so much more to learn...

    might play with the language a bit...some of the rhyming seems contrived...as if the phrasing were manipulated a bit too much...

    really like the second stanza...and "i feel like a winner who has never won"

    | Posted on 2012-04-13 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Push written by JanePlane
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Bond written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Giving written by jjd
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]