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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rust On My Heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DearlyDeparted
    Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 211/290/189
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 733
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 671



    Description:
       Always missing him...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRust On My Heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can't look at a 74' Ford F250 without a tear coming to my eye.
    Or watch The Little Rascals without a pang of grief striking my heart.
    Even the smells I thought once to be utterly grotesque;
    Like chewing tobacco mingled with stale beer,
    can bring a crooked grin to my face.
    The scent of used motor oil and old transmission fluid,
    breaks me down faster then a Nicolas Sparks novel.
    It's surreal;
    knowing you're gone.
    It's been years,
    but the pain sits in the ground of my soul like steel.
    It may oxidize,
    though the rust will taint the surrounding earth forever.




    Submitted on 2012-04-17 21:24:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      i like how you pull the reader in, not only describing your feelings but preserving the memories that keep him in your heart forever. a very moving piece with a unique personal touch.
    | Posted on 2012-04-23 00:00:00 | by gwenn sundala | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this is potent.

    especially like the lines about the motor oil and transmission fluid scent breaking you down faster than a nicolas sparks' novel..

    and my girlfriend and i were just talking about his novels and his sensitivity in what he writes.


    so much to like here...if i did favs, this would be one.

    great ending too..although i think you meant "steel"
    "though the rust will taint the surrounding earth forever"

    what an imprint!

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-04-17 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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