Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Apologydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 136/243/154
    Words: 56
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 565
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 396



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsApologydots
    -------------------------------------------


    And maybe there’s still an oak for us
    in a deserted field, dropping mosaics
    of shadow and light into my open palm
    amidst the rushed whisperings
    of adolescent summers,
    and that would be the only
    cry of lost and shattered worlds
    against the battered shutter:
    catching the last of straying sunsets
    into your bleeding
    eye.




    Submitted on 2012-04-22 16:13:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i see this as a companion piece for porcelain...
    well....i may be off...but apologies are too late...

    or are they?

    your bleeding eye...

    maybe it is not the speaker's apology, but the significant other's..

    sorry to have treated you like a discarded doll, and maybe we could get the dreams back...

    oh well, probably the incurable romantic in me...seeing reconciliation.

    but i really like both pieces...and i like your endings...you build a certain crescendo in your pieces, and then hit the climax well at the very end.

    you leave the poems open to interpretation...yet the closings don't just hang there...they are tight and sharp.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-04-22 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    194965

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry