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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nothing is Heredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Phall
    ASL Info:    29/ Male/Louisiana
    Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 155/222/84
    Words: 60
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 705
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 476



    Description:
       


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    dotsNothing is Heredots
    -------------------------------------------


    There's an empty space
    inside my head,
    a hollowness,
    a place thoughts won't go.
    No things are here,
    there is nothing here.
    A blank slate;a cold
    hearth.

    No dreams are here,
    there are no dreams here.
    This place is vague,
    undefined, open to
    interpretation.
    Maybe someday a
    shape will come,
    maybe then the void
    will fill.
    But
    maybe not.




    Submitted on 2012-04-23 17:04:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      How frustrating. I had a friend that use to mock my aspirations to attain peace, he use to say peace is so boring, undisturbed neither happy sad angry anything just void. This reminds me of that.
    | Posted on 2015-04-28 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      The state of nothingness is worse than the state of extreme sadness. With sadness at least there is something there that says your alive and breathing. When the thoughts and words won't come, when there are no emotions to bleed. It a bit of death and not la petite mort ;)
    | Posted on 2015-02-05 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought you were describing My head.
    Oh, wait – That’s a thought. Yes, we’ve all been there. Some of us still remain.
    A unique take on the blankness of our affliction, nicely worded and presented.
    If I might suggest a couple of things to let your poem flow more freely: The repetition of “No things” vs “nothing” and “no dreams” on top of “no dreams” in my opinion (and that’s all it is, an opinion) stalls the read. I suggest Dropping “No things are here” and “No dreams are here” and adding “It’s” before “A blank slate.” As I said, just a suggestion.
    I liked the simplicity of this poem and the vagueness of its conclusion, “Maybe not.” A damn good write.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2014-11-17 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      There's an empty space
    inside my head,
    a hollowness,
    a place thoughts won't go.

    Yes that feels familiar, or more like for me a place where thoughts won't come out of.
    | Posted on 2014-01-09 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      On the same page with you..I like how simple this is and it speaks right through as if this were whispered.

    Nice one
    Jen
    | Posted on 2012-09-12 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      ah writer's block....

    yes, it feels like an empty space in our poetic heads...

    writing about it is always good therapy...

    i like your wording here!

    jacob
    | Posted on 2012-06-15 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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