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    dots Submission Name: NaPoWriMo 10--14 dots

    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 230/390/136
    Words: 235
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 817
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1592

       Okay so my senior thesis was due a couple days ago, so I haven't been keeping up with the daily poems. Might not bother to finish out NaPo. These are the last few poems I wrote before buckling down to work.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots NaPoWriMo 10--14 dots

    April 10th, 2012

    Her eyes were wet but
    the cold, distant wind
    was blowing through me

    and even then, I guess
    I started to run away.

    April 11th, 2012

    Every half-hour the hail
    slicks down the red roof.
    It hits the ground, primal.

    The sky is long-legged
    and touches everything,
    stooping in a motherly way.

    I have never really stopped
    feeling like a child.

    April 12th, 2012

    Waking up to the wet snow
    becoming wetter, the imperceptible line
    between wet snow and simply wet,
    the vagaries of sleeping and waking.

    Large and awkward, my hand
    grows cold on the glass.

    April 13th, 2012

    What happened was that
    it rained, again, and I was dreaming.

    Thatís it.
    The long hours piled up
    in their happy heaps.

    April 14th, 2012

    The valley was on fire: dawn
    burned away the blue-soft
    burrows. Some domesticated thing woke
    in me, lowing lowly, swaying
    as it stumped out into the fields.

    It was meaty and entirely tame,
    its muscles slicked together,
    it was absurdly swollen with blood.

    Though what remained behind
    was not wild, was not free,
    could only bury itself in the yard

    still it sought, as we all do,
    to save the cold clots of night.

    Submitted on 2012-04-24 17:21:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      April 14th-- I really like this one, the idea of some lumbering domesticated thing, and the other thing, left behind.
    Just my first impression, but I would prefer this line:
    'still it sought, as we all do,'

    to be left out. It felt like the commentary took my attention right out of the vivid images of the poem.

    I think April 11th thru April 14th work really well as a grouping. I'm not so sure about April 10th.

    Really enjoyed this read, thanks,
    | Posted on 2012-11-21 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      Hang in there. It's a tough deal to write even an average on a poem per day. At least for me.
    | Posted on 2012-04-24 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

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